Take These Tears
by lizziekiss
Summary: A love story between a loving miko and a cold hearted yokai, with each chapter set to the lyrics of a diffrent song. Chapter Nineteen : "Dig" now up
1. Unbreak my heart

**AN- **a huge amount of sheer adoration goes out to avid-reader21, if not for the prompt they posted then I certainly would not be writing this.

The song in this chapter is Toni Braxton's "unbreak my heart"

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-Every time it happened she swore it would be the last time.

-Inuyasha had left her alone while he ran off to kikyo. She accepted the fact that Inuyasha would never want her, beause kikyo was his true love. What broke her heart was the fact that one moment he treated her exactly as she wished a man would and utterly rejected her the next moment.

-the Jewel had been completed a long time ago, but since she had always felt like her live belonged here she stayed in the past.

-her ipod was her closest form of comfort today.

-today she walked to her favorite field to try and just enjoy the sunshine. She tried to hold back her tears as she thought of all the time she had spent with inuyasha in this very field. All the times they ate here, all the times he walked with her hand in hand, and even the nights spent looking up at the stars.

-when would he finally realize that he needed to choose? He needed to leave either her or kikyo. As much as she tried to hate the other woman she knew that kikyo must hurt just the way that she did, knowing she didn't hold all of inuyasha's heart. He shouldn't be allowed to lead her on the way that he did.

-every time that he left to see kikyo he would hug Kagome and say goodbye, because he never knew when he would be back, he shared a hut with Kagome, even halfway shared a life, but he shared his heart and his bed with kikyo.

-Kagome flipped throught the songs on the device sighing softly each time she found a song that reminded her of the Hanyou, she kept sighing and passing the songs untill she finally found one to fit her sour mood.

-toni Braxton was her crooner for today and the song "unbreak my heart"spoke the feelings that she simply could not.

-Kagomes body swayed as the music started, with the music blaring in her ears she didn't even hear or sence Sesshomaru's approach. The stoic lord of the west would have had to been dead not to feel the sorrow radiating off of the admittedly beautiful miko.

-in the months since the final battle with Naraku, the Inuyokai had found many excuses to keep in the miko's company, most times even if only to find himself in the midst of an enthralling verbal spar, there was something undecribable that he enjoyed about her wild spirit.

'**Un-Break My heart, say you love me again'**

-the words grated against his ears, there was such saddness in her voice, a voice clearly tainted by unshed tears.

-his heart ached for the normally happy and annoyingly chipper miko.

'**Take back the sad word goodbye, bring back the joy to my life'**

-her voice quiteted for a few seconds, but the sound of her sniffling had his hand instinctively reaching out for her, her clenched his hand into a fist when he realized just what he was doing.

'**Uncry these tears, I cried so many nights.'**

-he watched her slowly spin around in the sunlight, her eyes closed with freshly shed tears glistening on her lashes.

-he knew this was due to his half breed younger brother. Knew that the pain laced through her aura was inuyasha's fault and could belong to no other. The longer that he watched her the more he wished to right the wrong that the pitiful Hanyou had caused. His body moved forward due to sheer instinct.

-Kagomne looked a bit startled when she pulled the head phones from her ears and looked up to find Sesshomaru stalking towards her

"Sesshomaru-Sama, What brings you here?"

-His actions didn't seem even remotely like his usual cold self as he reached for her face using a finger under her chin so he could tilt her head and regard her deep orbs.

"Pack your things Miko, you are coming with me."

"What? Where are we going?" she was utterly dumbfounded.

"To my lands in the west woman, now gather yourself and that annoying kit you have taken as your own and come with me."

-Kagome crossed her arms defiantly not wanting to listen to a thing he said, she trusted him, but never before had he made such a strange demand.

"what is the danger you are trying to save me from?"

"the danger of a broken Heart.

Kagome stared into the deep amber eyes, the only betrayal to the stoic mask the inu lord held over his frozen features, she didn't quite understand what she saw there, but she trusted him enough to know she could use a vacation.


	2. Best I ever had

AN- the song in this chapter is "Best I ever had" by gary allan, the song is origionally by vertical horizon but I like gary allans version better. its funny that this chapter is nearly twice the length as the last, and you all will be happy to know that this story WILL have an ending!! [I know I dont finish much but I do try real hard!!] please review if youve got a second thought, I get alot of hits, and it always seems disproportnate to the number of reviews that I have. thanks in advance!!

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-Shippo didn't seem very comfortable at the formal dinner, Kagome understood the kit's plight, she seemed to feel as uncomfortable as the child looked.

-Rin however had managed to rein in her bubbly nature and was currently trying to show shippo how to properly sit in the high backed western style chairs.

-Sesshomaru breezed into the formal dining room and sighed at the obliviously unrefined manners of the fox at the table.

"Rin you make take the child into the kitchen to eat"

-While the children left to the sanctuary of the kitchen, Sesshomaru took up a place at the head of the table and beckoned Kagome to take a seat closer to him.

-while she wanted to berate him for being so controlling she noticed that she sat to his left and rin had been sitting on his right, he had given Kagome the place of the lady of the house.

"the kit will sit to your left, he should keep close to his mother."

-Kagome smiled softly and she wanted to ask so many questions first and foremost why he was affording her with such luxuries, surely he was mistaken when he placed her at the most honored place she could ever sit at his table.

-he sighed rather loudly when he caught her looking at the other places at the table, looking to the spot where rin would sit were she here. Quietly he answered the questions she was scared to ask.

"I have decided to give you a position of respect based on the qualties you have been shown to have, this position is one of the highest honor, and this way, with you in arms reach I can better protect you."

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-Life had been good in the few short weeks since she had been dragged away to the castle of the Lord of the West.

-while a strange paradox, things were more simple then ever before and nothing was simple at all.

-While Kagome's days were full of teaching Rin and Shippo how to read and write, Kagomes nights were filled with tears and sorrow.

-tonight was an especially hard night, something had reminded her of the Hanyou that had once held her heart.

-it was a dog, and not just any dog, it was a particularry scruffy mutt that wandered into the palace grounds and nearly wagged its butt off when Kagome gave it just the tiniest bit of attention. She hadn't meant to keep it, but when the small animal had lifted its ears and seemed to radiate happyness she wanted it. Needed this little bundle of joy to be in her life.

-when she had mentioned the puppy's shaggy and matted coat the dog had flattened his ears to his head and hung his head almost sheepishly, Kagome cried thinking of all the times she had chided inuyasha when they were first getting to know her, back before kikyo, back when he really cared about her and not about the woman he once had.

-no matter how this animal reminded her of inuyasha she just couldn't toss it away or send it back to the fields, she decided to clean it up and gift it to the family of farmers that worked the lands surrounding the palace of the west.

-she sang softly as she begain to draw a bath for the lovely canine the words spilling from her lips as she thought about the love she was trying to forget.

**So you sailed away **

**Into a grey sky mourning **

**Now I'm here to stay**

**Love can be so boring**

**And nothing's quite the same now**

**I just say your name now**

-several of the servants working stopped to look at the strange human woman singing a song so sadly, the words bringing her heartache to their ears. Could it be that the outwardly happy miko really was this heartbroken on the inside?

**But it's not so bad.. **

**You're only the best I ever had **

**You don't want me back**

**You're just the best I ever had**

-Sesshumaru was saddened to find that once more Kagome was singing, there was something in the way her aura licked at his when she sang, it was not only soothing and calming, but the words her sang were distressing, he wanted nothing more then to soothe her the way her voice soothed him, so badly so that he almost pondered asking her to sing him a lullaby.

**So you stole my world **

**Now I'm just a phony**

**Remembering the girl **

**Leaves me down and lonely**

**We'll send it in a letter**

**Make yourself feel better**

-the mighty Yokai lord knew that even thought a man had written this song, Kagome obliviously felt that it fit her situation so much so that she didn't even bother to change the lyrics, he approached silently watching her wash the stray canine in the huge washtub, the animal in her hands almost putty with the way her soothing fingers tamed the wild creature and the way her pure miko powers seemed to heal its broken and timid spirit. Sesshomaru almost wished for a split second that someone would pay him that sort of attention, he longed for someone to care for him so selfishly, but the idea was thrown out as the miko continued to sing.

**But I'ts not so bad.. **

**You're only the best I ever had **

**don't want me back**

**You're just the best I ever had**

-he truly hated how even thought the miserable half breed he was still making Kagome miserable, the great lord tried to tell himself that he had taken the miko to make Rin happy, that he had done it to spite his bastard brother, but nothing could compare to the truth, and the truth was in fact that he had no idea why. It was like something inside of him lured him to her, just like now, he never walked through the servants areas, but somehow he had taken a wrong turn that lead him to Kagome singing her hearbreak.

**And it might take some time**

**To patch me up inside**

**But I cant take it so I**

**I run away and hide**

**I might find in time **

**That you were always right**

**You were always right**

-Kagome finally became aware of the presence of the menacing Yokai lord when several of the servants listening to her scattered off to find something better to do, and while her voice wavered just a bit she didn't stop caring for the pup slowly becoming a handsome animal in her hands.

**So you sailed away**

**Into a grey sky morning**

**Now I'm here to stay**

**Love can be so boring**

**was what it you wanted**

**Could it be I'm haunted?**

-Sesshomaru had enough, he refused to let her wallow in her self pity for any longer, he moved to the other side of the tub and watched her face, even thought she sang with bile coating her aura, she nearly worshipped the soon to be pet in her hands, showing the little creature so much love and kindness that only someone as pure of heart as Kagome could do.

-she spoke softly, not even bothering to keep singing as she somehow seemed to reconcile with her feelings

"youre just the best I ever had."

-she looked up to see what she might have thought was a confused look upon the Lords face.

"why have you washed the mongrel?"

-Kagome looked back down into the trusting eyes of the dog in her hands, one that was cleaner then ever and quite a sight now that his fur shone and was free from tangles.

"I wanted to keep him, hes such a gentle animal, but seeing as you might not have liked it Ive decided to give it to the family that farms your lands, he could help them heard their animals and provide the children with a companion, and even offer protection."

-Kagome struggled not to squirm under the Yokai's hardened glare.

"and what does the animal get in return?"

"a warm place to sleep, a guarantee to always be fed, and the love and care that he deserves"

-there was a long pause while Kagome dried the sopping wet puppy, and Sesshomaru did nothing but watch her hands move expertly over the fuzzy mass. Silently he wondered how she would rear children but easily pushed the thought from his mind.

"it is too bad Miko, that you are not a simple puppy"

-seeing what he could describe as her hackles raising he continued before she had a chance to say anything he explained.

"had you been a docile pet like the one in your hands, then you would have gotten exactly what you deserved."


	3. the hardest thing

AN- the song in this chapter is "the Hardest thing" by 98 degrees, and this chapter is a song fic in the sence that kagome is not singing the words this time, but they do fit... maybe she was singing them in her head... who knows? please forgive me if anything sorta drags here, or if it doesent make sence... and forgive me if sesshomaru seems sorta OOC I just kept thinking that maybe he wouldnt be such an ass when he was in his normal place.

anyways, I would like to thank the ever supportive J-Chan I dont think this chapter would have gotten here tonight if not for her. you darlin are like my muse -bows down-

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-She was acting as Lady of the West. If anyone asked thought she was miserable, but she did enjoy it, she assumed all this work must have been what the great lord himself deemed as some sort of torture, but she was loving every minute of it.

-never before had Kagome felt so useful, and since she was such a cheery and happy alternative to the cold and stoic lord many brought their problems right to her. Fixing things was getting easier and easier.

-Untill Now.

"Kouga Im telling you, I don't know how all the Yokai stuff works, and while I understand that you only want two weeks of hunting time on the western lands I cant just allow it without knowing whos toes im stepping on."

-Kouga growled softly his eyes narrowing, never before had the miko seen him like this, he seemed to be cold and calculating.

"Kagome, I expect to see you in the open court this afternoon."

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-the midday meal found her heading inside to the formal dining hall instead of lunching out in the gardens like was normal. She wanted to talk to Sesshomaru before this 'open court' thing she was told about, she truly wanted to know how much authority she was really being given.

-the formal dining hall was bustling with people coming and going and when she caught Rin and Shippo heading out of the room she assumed that there was some sort of business meeting going on.

"Lady Kagome, Sesshomaru-Sama sent us to find you, the Lord required you at his left hand for lunch."

-She pondered the young girls soft words before shippo spoke up.

"he said you gotta sort thought the mess you made."

-Kagome was nearly a mess by the time she got into the dining hall, and she noted that there was only one open seat, that elusive one to the left of Sesshomaru, several pairs of eyes latched onto her form as the lord of the west raised his head and motioned her to the seat. Kagome smoothed her hands over the kimono she wore and walked tall and proud to her seat.

-listening to the men speak business was awful, they all seemed to prattle on and on, most not caring if anyone was really listening, but Sesshomaru's hand upon his calligraphy brush caught kagomes attention. She was even more shocked when he passed her the note like they were in grade school.

_Miko._

_Kouga wishes to claim you in court this day._

_I do not like it, but he has the right to challenge me as he has already staked a claim before I took you._

_You have until the end of this meeting to decide._

-Kagome had no idea what to think, she didn't know why the unfeeling lord would even care if someone wanted her, hell she was still wondering why he had taken her from Inuyasha in the first place.

-she had plenty of time to think, plenty of time to ponder what life would be like living with Kouga, but as Sesshomaru approved kouga's approval for the hunting time on western lands she realized that with Kouga her life would still be dependent on the Inuyokai so why have a middle person.

-taking the brush from Sesshomaru fingers seemed almost like a game to him, his hand was so close to kagomes, but every time she reached for it , he tightened his grip, she didn't want to say anything to call attention to her plight but finally she reached over and snached the brush from his fingers.

-several of the lesser lords watched as some of the ink flicked from the brush and landed on Sesshomaru's hand.

-several people turned their head when the peculiar miko spoke.

"that's just what you get for playing keep away."

-she assumed that her writing would be nothing compared to the carefully practiced kanji of the western lord but she realized she had much less to say.

_If you want me, I am yours._

-when the meeting was over and everyone proceeded to the throne room Sesshomaru spoke softly so low that the miko didn't know if she had really heard him.

"trust me."

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-Kagome had been sitting faithfully at the rightful place of the lady of the west, she was to the left of the lord of the west, but while there were no thrones they sat upon a platform, the diffrence in height making it seem like Kagome was sitting much lower then the lord on her right.

-she had offered thoughts a time or two and even solved many of the problems brought forth from the humans, even agreeing to read a proposal for a giant fair to happen at the castle.

-she was indeed feeling useful, but strangely even more tired then she thought possisable. That was untill it was kouga's turn to address the court gathered in the throne room.

"Lord of the West, I would like to ask you what business you have making a woman I have claimed as my own lady of your house."

-Kagome could feel the Yokai next to her straighten up if that was possisable with his perfect posture but his words almost hurt.

"you can have her if she means that much to you."

-Kouga beamed brightly like he had won some new shiny toy.

-although Kagome didn't show it, she felt like she was being thrown away again. She felt one of Sesshomaru's fingers very lightly touch her knee, in what she assumed was his form of a comforting gesture.

"But" the Yokai lord continued "I have news that will make you rethink your claim."

-the entire room grew silent, all the demons were unhappy that a human held such power in the house of the west. So the lord of the west held everyones attention when he spoke.

"I am officially announcing my choice as heir, Shippo the Kitsune, son of the western lands will be trained to be my heir. My human ward has been his betrothed for several years. I would seek to bring demonic and holy powers together to create an even stronger bloodline."

-Kouga was the first to speak.

"how does that keep me from having Kagome?"

"shippo is her child, so she must remain here to ensure his proper training because as you do know, a mother knows best. Doubly she must stay here as she is the sole miko responsible for the training of my ward Rin. I gave her the title of the West seeing as she the closest one to becoming the lady of the west, she is the mother to my heir after all. So I tell you now you can have Kagome, but she cannot leave, if you would like to leave your pack and start a life with her here, I can make arrangements for you to live here."

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-to say Kagome was upset was an understatement.

-she was furious, so upset that she had almost been thrown away, a soft knock on her bedroom door brought her mind to focus, she called for the person to come in and was almost shocked when lord Sesshomaru himself entered into her room making the room itself look much too small to hold such a powerful creature.

"you are upset."

-he stated more then questioned, but if Kagome could read the little glimmer in his eyes, maybe… just maybe he was worried about her feelings.

"I am, I am very upset."

"This Sesshomaru sees no reason to be upset, you gave me the option to keep you here, and I did such by any means necessary. This Sesshomaru also instructed you to trust, which had you done so fully you would not be so foolishly upset."

-she wanted to throw something at him, wanted to purify him on the spot for coming in here and making her feel like such an ass, but the seemingly pure wave of feelings radiating off of the Yokai lord stopped her. As far as she could tell he was being honest.

-he watched her for a long few minuets, before he pulled off his armor and set it aside setting his swords down as well. Kagome was shocked when he opened the door to allow a servant with a setting for tea enter then scurry back out. She thought she was hallucinating when the great lord of the west sat at the small table and begain to pour tea.

"you miko, are going to help me remove all of the corruption from my castle."

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-Kagome was feeling strange, the cold lord had practically begged her to help him, in his way true, but it still was true. He had asked her for her help. But she felt uncomfortable about it, he wanted her to send away and suitors she would have, he had told her that he would keep her as the lady of the west. In some ways she hoped for more, maybe she hoped for the love she felt she deserved, but as she thought about it, what if this was love? Sesshomaru was willing to give her kitsune child everything that she wanted to give the child, so maybe that was his own way of loving her.

-Kagome wandered throught the gardens smiling at how the moonlight made all the plants look so beautiful and looked up startled when a soft voice broke throught her thoughts.

"Kagome, I need to talk to you."

-Kouga looked startling, standing there basking in the moonlight, and whatever feelings she might have ever had for him stirred.

-his arms reached for her and soon enough she found herself in his embrace, the warmth of his body soothed her.

"Kagome, I wish you would reconsider, Ive wanted you for a long time, and I can give you what none of those damn mangy dogs can."

"but you know you cant offer me what I need, and you know we shouldn't even be here like this."

**We both know that I shouldn't be here **

**This is wrong **

**And baby it's killing me, it's killing you **

**Both of us trying to be strong **

-she heard the wolf take a deep breath and slowly she buried her face deeper into his neck, she debated her options, while she knew she could love the wolf lord and would find a place within his pack, would her child?

**I've got somewhere else to be **

**Promises to keep **

"what can I offer you thought Kouga?"

"everything Ive ever wanted Kagome, you can give me love, and a mate, and a dozen children, don't you see? Youre the one for me."

"what about Shippo, he is my child, would your pack take him in? could you see having a fox as a son? As an heir?"

-she felt the wolf stiffen in her embrace, and she knew the answer before he even said it. At least here she could make sure shippo would be happy, even if she gave up her own happiness to provide it.

**I've made up my mind **

**There is no turning back **

-the demon before her slid his hands to either side of her face and softly kissed her forhead.

"Kagome we could be something great, with you by my side I could do anything, but I cant take a kit who aint mine in, he could live with the pack thought, but I cant play poppa so someone elses brat."

**It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do **

**To look you in the eye **

**And tell you I don't love you **

**It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie **

**To show no emotion when you start to cry **

"Im sorry Kouga, I cant. Shippo is my number one priority now, im sure you understand, you pack always comes first, and that little kitsune, hes all the pack Ive got."

-she slipped from his arms, well aware of the heartbreak deep within his eyes.

-Kagome took a deep breath knowing that she would not throw someone away the way she had been, knew that her loyalty was far more important then a chance to be loved.

"don't you love me Kagome?"

**I can't let you see what you mean to me **

**When my hands are tied and my heart's not free **

**We're not meant to be **

"not in the way you need to be loved Kouga, I can never love you that way, and im sorry."

-she watched the wolf take a deep breath and rock on his heels, she knew that he must feel tormented inside, but she had never been the right choice for him.

**It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do **

**To turn around and walk away **

**Pretending I don't love you **

"Im really sorry, but I need to go now, I hope you understand."

**I know that we'll meet again **

**Fate has a place and time **

**So you can get on with your life I**

**'ve got to be cruel to be kind **

-she turned to walk away but his hand darted out and caught her arm.

"then who Kagome? Who should I go to, who will love me?"

-Kagome tried to calm down and finally she got her breathing under control, and she debated the answer for a moment before she replied.

"there is another wolf, Ayame I believe is her name, she is trying to expand her lands with treaties, if you and she were mated it would double your hunting grounds, her territory has better hunting and yours has better places to live, it would work well."

"what about love Kagome, what about love?"

"if you cant mate for love, then why not mate to provide for your people?"

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-Kagome was silently crying as she made her way to the castle, it wasent that she wanted a life with kouga it simply was the fact that she had someone who loved her the way she wanted, but simply couldn't be who she needed.

-if she were selfish, she would have taken up kouga on his offer faster then anyone could have blinked but she had never been a selfish person.

-she didn't see Sesshomaru sitting on the bench beside the door until his words caught her.

"you were with the wolf?"

-he didn't question, simply stated the facts, she assumed he could smell the wolf on her skin and clothes from how closely they were hugging, but now she just didn't care.

-she tilted her head away, she didn't want the cold lord to think of her as weak because she was crying. But she nodded to let him know that she indeed had been with kouga.

-Sesshomaru stood and made his way over to her looking at her.

"do not hide your face, this Sesshomaru can smell the tears upon your skin."

-Kagome looked up at the lord of the west, and stared right into his eyes, she could have sworn she saw compassion in them but told herself it must have been wishful thinking.

"Miko, does your offer still stand?"

-Kagome tilted her head curiously trying to figure out what he was talking about.

"your note said, if I wanted you, you were mine."

-Kagome smiled softly using the back of her hand to dry the tears on her cheeks. She thought about just exactly what she had meant by it, and she guessed, if she really tried hard, she could have a lot of fun being the lady of the west.

"yes Sesshomaru-Sama it still stands."

"then you are mine."

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	4. I Wont Say

AN- this is the second chapter to the idea that avid-reader21 posted, the song is "I wont say (im in love)" from the disney movie "Hercules" please understand that I havent seen that movie in a loooong time... also this chapter comes complete with a song and dance routine.

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-Kagome was happy, it seemed like her life was really becoming something.

-almost every day she and Sesshomaru got together for tea, and while she wished that it was some sort of romantic interlude that kept them up until the wee hours of the morning, she was happy in the fact that it was a special time, where they talked, even worked out strategy on how to rule the western lands, even if the Yokai lord didn't see her as an equal, he at least respected her opinion.

-Shippo was being trained every day, Sesshomaru was even helping the kit to train, taking up with weapons and learning how to use his abilities better and better each day.

-Rin was blossoming under Kagome's care, each day the little girl learned something new, and there was something about the child's innocent enthusiasm that had Kagome picking flowers with her on more then one occasion.

-it was all this unprecedented happiness that caused Kagome the most despair though. She wanted Sesshomaru to be happy too, but no matter how hard she tried nothing seemed to make him happy.

-working out a treaty with the south did nothing, it didn't even pique his interest.

-making a fair for the humans that happened once a season on the castle grounds, got a complaint or two from the neighboring lords but over all was a good idea, a good way for the people of the west to trade supplies and mingle to keep contact, possibly even to keep the warring down. That had only elicited a tiny response, not even a smirk.

-Kagome was struggling to find some way to make the Yokai happy, even if only for a moment.

-in the past weeks Kagome had been training harder then ever before, ten Miko's had been found to help her train, Sesshomaru apparently was not happy with having the Miko that defeated Naraku in his employ, he apparently wanted his Miko, of the Shikon no tama to be the best Miko that ever walked the face of the earth.

-while it was tiring, more often then not she found herself passing the practice fields on her way back to the castle. This day not only did she get to watch Shippo practice but she got the elicit treat of getting to watch Sesshomaru spar another demon.

-the cold icy-hearted lord of the west was nothing even close to cold right now, he had slipped the sleeves of his haori down so that his shirt was pooled around his waist and his chest was bare. His pale skin was flushed from the activity, sweat beaded and trickled down his chest as he jumped back to evade the attack from his opponent.

-Kagome felt like a young girl again, lusting after some athlete on TV, but this was different, she could feel Sesshomaru fighting, feeling his Yokai reach out to overpower his opponents. This was not only a battle of strength, it was a battle of wills.

-what had Kagome stopped totally in her tracks was when Sesshomaru cast his sword aside to use his poison whip, then easily reached over and grabbed his discarded weapon, the Miko's head turned as she stared at him puzzled.

-it was easy to forget the western lords missing limb, he always wore long sleeves, and even if he used his sword he only removed the sleeve on his sword arm.

-she remembered when Sesshomaru had taken a human arm so that he would have a chance at wielding his brothers sword, the false limbs never seemed to last long, or work very well.

-Kagome had used her Miko powers to heal many others wounds, she pondered if she could use those same powers to somehow re-grow his missing arm.

"Miko, have you nothing better to do then to stare at this Sesshomaru like some animal in heat?"

-Kagome blushed furiously, suddenly aware of how close the lord was to where she was standing, his chest still bare, his hair windblown and his ivory skin flushed with color. When she didn't answer fast enough she heard him clear his throat, her embarrassment soaring when she heard his next words.

"this Sesshomaru does not mind the staring, and can assure you it is much more enjoyable when done in private."

----------

-Kagome had been avoiding a particular demon for several days now, ever since the day he caught her staring at him, she assumed he had been trying to tease her, but what was she supposed to think? He practically invited her to ogle his naked body.

-before she went and started blushing again she took a deep breath and pushed open the doors to the dungeon. She had been here with the ten Miko's of the castle for the past few days, practicing her healing on the criminals locked up. While Kagome felt badly about practicing something that may not work on living beings, she had to remember that they were criminals, some murders, some had been sentenced to spend their entire lives locked away in the dungeon.

"Lady Kagome-Sama, I have grand news for you."

-she didn't know if the Yokai who guarded the dungeons could have been more formal or bowed lower then he already was but his words intrigued her, and with a slight bow and a nod of her head he continued.

"I have a man here who is without a foot, it's the worst injury so far, and surely it would be another test of your more then amazing skills."

-Kagome smiled softly ready to try her hand at re-growing a limb.

-it took a few hours, but now she was looking at a very human, and very happy man who had just received a second chance at life. Kagome's actions had succeeded and this man indeed had a new foot, she smiled so widely that one of the Miko's began to giggle.

"isn't it ironic that you've given him his foot back?"

-Kagome turned to the giggling woman clearly not understanding her laughing fit.

"Kagome-Sama the man was punished for kicking a royal dog! He worked for the family who farms the castle grounds"

-Kagome stared at the woman and pleaded with her to continue.

"I heard that Lord Sesshomaru himself caught the man kicking the poor animal and had him thrown in the dungeon, his punishment was to have his foot removed so he could never kick another innocent creature again."

-Kagome remembered the poor scruffy dog she had bathed so lovingly before giving it away to have a home full of people who would love it. She wasn't quite sure why the cold hearted lord would suddenly become so passionate about protecting a animal, but somewhere deep inside she hoped that he had done that for her.

-even in his own grotesque and strange way, it seemed like he cared.

---------

-Kagome had rushed up to the formal dining hall from the dungeons, her hair a mess and out of breath from winding her way through the castle, when she burst into the room causing a commotion that had every pair of eyes in the room on her she simply grinned and dropped into her seat next to the western lord.

-she was even so bold as to attempt to snatch a slice of bread from the very upset Inu-Yokai's plate, his hand caught her wrist thought and his voice when he threatened her.

"Miko, you should learn your place and stop causing a disturbance if you know what is good for you."

-Kagome couldn't even stop smiling long enough to be scared of his very real threat, nor did she stop smiling long enough to realize that the hand currently squeezing her wrist was cutting off the blood flow to her hand. Instead Kagome leaned over and whispered as softly as she could to the Yokai lord.

"I need a private audience with you, I have urgent and exciting news."

-of course since the room was filled with quite nosy Yokai all eyes were upon Sesshomaru as he looked up at the table.

"leave now. All of you."

-with a few simple words and a very cold glare the room had emptied, and Sesshomaru roughly yanked Kagome's wrist causing her to lurch forward and nearly slam her forehead on the table.

"this Sesshomaru will take no more of your disrespect or your insane attitude, speak quickly or I will remove the very tongue from your mouth."

-Kagome gulped and tried to calm herself down, she had never had Sesshomaru upset with her the entire time she had been living in this castle, sure he had never been happy with her, but being angry was a curse she didn't want to have.

"Lord Sesshomaru-Sama, I have found a way to restore you to perfection."

-Kagome bowed her head so low that her nose was almost touching the table, and while he released her wrist his voice was still laced with venom when he spoke.

"you have one chance Miko, one chance to explain yourself before I decide to send you to live in the dungeon you are so fond of."

"I found a way to heal you, to restore your arm."

--------

-An hour ago Kagome had been scared Sesshomaru would send her to the dungeons for the rest of her human life, but now she was scared he was going to look at her funny when he saw the ground she had assembled for this healing act.

-the ten Miko's of the castle were gathered in one of the unused bedrooms, they were all going to chant and keep Sesshomaru under a trance while Kagome would reform his arm. A Yokai weapons master had devised a restraint system to be used and all that was left was for Kagome to lead the ritual.

-Sesshomaru had entered into the empty room with Kagome while she explained the ritual and how it would work.

"the only problem is that your aura reacts harshly to mine, I was hoping there was some way I could soothe you to get you relaxed so we could do this."

-Kagome felt Sesshomaru let his aura flare, and it popped dangerously against Kagome's, her heart beat faster in her chest wondering how she was going to use her Miko powers if she couldn't even get Sesshomaru's aura to touch her own.

"Miko, this Sesshomaru needs to inform you that it is indeed your Miko powers causing the friction, were you to rein in your forces it would not feel quite so irritating."

-Kagome took a deep breath and tried to calm herself, but she was so nervous how would she ever make Sesshomaru even the slightest bit happy if she couldn't even rein in her own feelings enough to perform the ritual.

"do you think we could talk? Maybe it would help me feel better"

"are we not conversing now?"

-Kagome looked down at her feet for a few moments before she answered.

"I meant like really talk, no formalities, you can ask me anything, and I promise to answer your questions, maybe you could answer a few of my own."

"This Sesshomaru agrees to this only because it is time that I was whole again."

-Kagome motioned for Sesshomaru to sit on the bed and took a seat across from him, smiling widely before she blurted out something she instantly regretted saying.

"Sesshomaru are you ever happy? Do you ever smile?"

-the Yokai lord just stared, he didn't even try to pretend he wasn't shocked.

"I am pleased occasionally, and smile when it is appropriate."

-Kagome sighed, and for some reason it made him want to smile made him want to bring a happy light to her eyes.

"Miko, even if I did smile I don't think you would recognize it, I think that was why you were unhappy with my brother, you never understood his expressions."

-Kagome laughed softly and agreed that he was probably right, and Sesshomaru let the corners of his lips curve up into a smile, so faint that it may have looked like a very slight smirk.

"you gotta stop smirking at me like that, it makes me paranoid."

"woman? Why are you so obsessed with trying to get me to smile? Is my happiness really that important to you?"

-realization hit Sesshomaru like a bus and he changed topics for a few moments.

"why are you so sad all of the time?"

"lord Sesshomaru, you're mistaken, I'm happy."

-the western lord looked at Kagome for a long time saying nothing and just taking in how she looked, the intense color of her eyes, and how she fidgeted because she was nervous. He tried to keep his body language open and his voice clear when he spoke.

"why did you wait for so long before you finally left Inuyasha, what made you stay?"

-Kagome felt the tears prickle at the edges of her eyes and turned her face away, she didn't want Sesshomaru to see her cry over his brother -again- she tried to take deep breaths and will the tears away while she tried to find an answer.

"I guess I just wanted someone, and I thought that I could handle him going to her, but slowly I realized that when I had him, I never had all of him."

"you wanted someone to share your bed?"

-Kagome's face began to burn with embarrassment, here was a cold and unfeeling man asking if she was unfulfilled with her relationship with Inuyasha because they were not intimate. The thought of Inuyasha leaving her warm arms to go to Kikyo's bed brought more tears, and soon Kagome was having trouble trying not to cry.

"Miko, you shouldn't hide your tears, I can already smell them, and you humans are good at showing emotions, you shouldn't hide them."

-Kagome nearly melted at the words and began crying in earnest, the entire time however, Sesshomaru never said a single thing, didn't offer her any comfort, but she was glad that he didn't offer her any pity either.

"No, I didn't want someone to share my bed, I wanted someone to love me, to be there for me. I wanted someone to give up as much as they took from me. I wanted love. Its silly I know, us humans and our notions of love, how the thought of love has us acting foolish and throwing our lives away, but I still wanted it."

"what did you want from this man who loved you?"

-Kagome took a deep breath, she had promised not to lie to him, promised that she would let him ask anything of her, but this seemed too far. Then she looked into his eyes, his amber eyes were wide, not from shock, but just because he was relaxed, his eyes were not narrowed in thought, but open in anticipation.

"I wanted him to put me first, to treat Shippo as his own, I wanted him to provide for me, to listen when I said something, I wanted him to care when I was injured and care for me when I was sick, it sounds like a lot, but they are all things that I have done willingly for others without even being asked."

-the Yokai lord was quiet again for a long time, each left to their own thoughts and there was no sound except for their quiet breathing, the silence was peaceful, never oppressive, and it was now that their auras seemed at peace with each other.

-Kagome was stunned when Sesshomaru finally broke the silence.

"Kagome, humans do not understand animals, humans do not understand animals who mate for the season then leave never to see each other again. It is their bodies that speak, not their mouths. You desire this Sesshomaru to smile yet when I do you do not smile in turn."

-Kagome just looked at him trying to understand what exactly he was saying, she was too focused on trying to interpret his words that she almost didn't hear him when he began to speak again.

"love is not your problem, you have given your love freely many times over, if you were looking for what you think you are, you would see that I have provided for you, taken your child as my own, I listen to your words, even let you help me rule my lands. This Sesshomaru has offered you everything you say is involved with this love."

-Kagome laughed softly for a few moments before she spoke.

"even with all you've offered me, you've never made me feel loved, never tried to make me happy, never just enjoyed my company, but I do enjoy yours, I look forward to all the nights we have tea and talk about these lands."

-Kagome was shocked to see that Sesshomaru, the great stoic icy lord of the west seemed to be taking Kagome's words into consideration. She never ever would have thought she would see the day she would see the lord of the west crumble.

"Miko, name one thing that would guarantee your happiness for this day."

"a smile, a real smile, one that even I with my untrained human eyes can tell is a smile."

-Sesshomaru sighed softly and decided to indulge the Miko, only just this once, he watched her face and as his lips curved up to form a smile, her face simply lit up, by the time that his mouth was curved into what she deemed a smile with his teeth showing and everything, She had been completely and utterly ecstatic her joy radiating off of her in waves that lightened her aura and seemed to soothe the Yokai lord.

----------

-it had taken four hours, four hours with Sesshomaru shackled to the bed shirtless a shackle around each ankle and one on this good wrist.

-four hours of heavy chanting and deep meditation with the ten mikos of the castle.

-and it took four hours of a very focused miko, chanting and calling on all of her powers, calling on the kami themselves to help her heal the demon lord she thought had somewhere along the line redeemed himself enough to deserve their help.

-four hours of hope, the hope that she could do something, use her powers in some way that would bring happiness to the cold heart of the Yokai lord.

---------

-Kagome was in the garden, it was a beautiful day, almost too beautiful, the sky was a glorious shade of blue and the sakura blossoms were just the right shade of pink as they fluttered in the breeze.

-Kagome took a deep breath and begain to walk around the garden, her thoughts flowing as idily as she walked.

-then she began to think about a particular Yokai and the very words he had said to her, she wondered why he had given her so much and asked for almost nothing in return.

-she twirled gracefully as she begain to hum, and soon an easy rhythm started, then she begain to sing.

**If there's a prize for rotten judgement**

**I guess I've already won that**

**No man is worth the aggravation**

**That's ancient history, been there, done that!**

-soon enough her voice had gathered the attention of several Yokai and before she knew it some of the fairies and sprites that cared for the gardens were answering her in turn.

**Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'**

**He's the Earth and heaven to you**

**Try to keep it hidden**

**Honey, we can see right through you**

**Girl, ya can't conceal it**

**We know how ya feel and**

**Who you're thinking of**

-Kagome stalked closer to the pixies brows knitted with an almost resentful look and replied.

**No chance, no way**

**I won't say it, no, no**

-the pixies were eager to respond in much the same fashion, stalking towards Kagome while their flapping wings looked almost like a beautiful dance.

**You swoon, you sigh**

**why deny it, uh-oh**

-Kagome twirled away from the pixies speaking softly.

**It's too cliche**

**I won't say I'm in love**

**I thought my heart had learned its lesson**

**It feels so good when you start out**

**My head is screaming get a grip, girl**

**Unless you're dying to cry your heart out**

**Oh**

-the pixies all swarmed around her, flying to find a place in front of her, urging her to listen.

**You keep on denying**

**Who you are and how you're feeling**

**Baby, we're not buying**

**Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling**

**Face it like a grown-up**

**When ya gonna own up**

**That ya got, got, got it bad**

-------

"should we remove her from his form?"

-three of the ten mikos stood around the bed Sesshomaru was chained to looking at the passed out form of Kagome, she had fallen right on top of the cold lord of the west, each of them wanted to remove her from his body, hoping and wishing that their dear lady Kagome would come to no harm.

-but there was no arguing with the newly healed arm wrapped around Kagome's back.

-Kagome woke up to the sound of the last of the miko's leaving, she opened her eyes glad to know she had only dreamed about dancing and singing in the all too perfect gardens.

-the warm body beneath her suddenly had her crashing back down to reality, her face was pressed quite comfortably into the tender part of Sesshomaru's neck, her body splayed over his, she ached to get up, but as she pushed her self up to scoot off of the bed his arm draped almost possessively across her back stopped her.

-he was clutching her to him, he of course was doing it involuntarily as he had been kept under a trance for several hours, but Kagome decided that if the Yokai wanted her to stay where she was, she was not one to argue.


	5. Paralyzer

AN- I know this is a short chapter compared to the last one... but the last one just dragged on, there was so much I wanted done, and Ive been sick so it took me forever to write it, this chapter just seemed to flow so here it is the song is "Paralyzer" by finger eleven. also in the next chapter or two we will get to the song that this whole story is named after.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

-Kagome had survived the enigma that was Sesshomaru.

-when he had woken up to find Kagome sleeping literally on top of him he had done nothing more then gently wake her, his voice soft as his newly formed hand smoothed its way across kagomes back, he had sighed almost bitterly about the fact that the first thing he had touched with his restored hand was the delectably soft skin of Kagome's lower back.

-he wasent even rude as he asked her to remove the shackles that pinned him to the bed, and he had even listened to her when she told him to eat before trying to do anything.

-but none of that explained why he was looking at her like this.

-Kagome, the powerful miko of the Shikon no tama was simply intimidated by the look Sesshomaru was giving her across the table.

-he was looking at her like she was the next course.

-she scooped up her glass of chilled sake and tried desperately to hide behind it.

**I hold on so nervously**

**To me and my drink**

**I wish it was cooling me**

**But so far, has not been good**

**It's been shitty**

-she was a grown woman, and she would not try and pretend that there was not something totally exciting in the way the Yokai lord seemed to be visably undressing her. She assumed thought that he was simply staring at her trying to figure her out like he had so many times before.

**And I feel awkward, as I should**

-Kagome took a deep breath and let her own fate sink in, becauses of Sesshomaru's utter hatred of humans she realized that while he may be interested in her now he would likely throw her away once his urges were sated.

**Well I am imagining**

**A dark lit place**

**Or your place or my place**

-Kagome seemed to be okay with that fact thought, and as she searched her soul she realized that she could handle it if fate threw it her way. She was mature enough to handle an adult relationship.

**Well I'm not paralyzed**

**But, I seem to be struck by you**

**I want to make you move**

**Because you're standing still**

**If your body matches**

**What your eyes can do**

**You'll probably move right through**

**Me on my way to you**

-Kagome thought about it for a long time and truth be told he wanted him to look at her the way he was, and she wondered if there was any promise behind those smoldering eyes. She almost considered herself a hentai but then again she wasent the one giving someone else the come hither look from across the table.

-her hand almost shook as she reached for the bottle to pour herself more sake, her body seeming to weaken under the gaze of the Yokai.

**I hold out for one more drink**

**Before I think**

**I'm looking too desperately**

**But so far has not been fun**

**I should just stay home**

-Kagome sighed softly once more as she realized her train of thought.

**Well I am imagining**

**A dark lit place**

**Or your place or my place**

-she nodded with an almost steely resolve as she decided something here and now, she would not persue Sesshomaru, if he wanted to come to her, asking her into his bed, she would at least consider the offer but she would not throw herself at him like she had seen so many others do before.

**Well, I'm not paralyzed**

**But, I seem to be struck by you**

**I want to make you move**

**Because you're standing still**

**If your body matches**

**What your eyes can do**

**You'll probably move right through**

**Me on my way to you**

-Kagome smiled almost slyly and stood from the table, she would play the part of the prey quite well.


	6. Alive

AN- the song in this chapter is "Alive" by P.O.D. and I absolutely love this song... there is something so positive and uplifting about it... but please take a moment to read into the lyrics, because in this chapter its like they are speaking for Sesshomaru, the song is saying what he cannot verbalize. also please pay attention to the fact that the lyrics in parentheses are not always the same lyric repeated, there are times they are diffrent (and those times are kinda important)

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

-Sesshomaru stood in what once was his mothers garden.

-the cold hearted western lord took the few moments he could spare and did nothing more then stand in the early morning sunshine. Somehow ever since Kagome had managed to heal him, he felt more complete then he ever had.

-maybe he loved the strange little miko, according to how she described love, he most definitely loved her, possisably without even knowing it.

**Everyday is a new day**

**I'm thankful for every breath that I take**

**I won't take you for granted (I won't take you for granted)**

**So I learn from my mistakes**

**It's beyond my control**

**Sometimes it's best to let go**

**Whatever happens in this lifetime**

**So I trust in love (So I trust in love)**

**You have given me peace of mind**

-he took a deep breath and let his Yokai loose, just let down all of his barriers, letting his aura, and his spirit wander where it would.

-he was amused that his Yokai picked up on the lingering scent of Kagome on one of the nearby benches, how she managed to pass thought the barriers and the protections he had placed on this oasis he didn't know.

**I, I feel so alive for the very first time**

**I can't deny You**

**I feel so alive**

**I, I feel so alive for the very first time**

**And I think I can fly**

-he could feel the gentle hum in his aura, almost like a peaceful purr, maybe he had always underestimated the strange little woman, she had in one sweep of her lovely hands given him everything he had ever wanted, a teacher and a mother figure for his ward Rin. A Full blooded heir who was more powerful then any had ever expected. She had even made him whole, and all she asked in return was for whatever companionship he was willing to give, and a single smile.

**Sunshine upon my face (Sunshine upon my face)**

**A new song for me to sing**

**Tell the world how I feel inside (tell the world how I feel inside)**

**Even though it might cost me everything**

**And now that I know this, so beyond, I can't hold this**

**It's like I can never turn my back away**

**And now that I've seen You (and now that I see You)**

**I can never look away**

-Sesshomaru begain to reluctantly gather in his spirit and his aura, seemingly at peace with the world, while the pecular miko did not ease every trouble in his life, she had somehow made his life much easier, made most of his worries dissipate into thin air.

-he would never admit to anyone, espically not her, how dear he held her to his heart. He had always been honest when he had claimed that she was the closest he would ever have to a lady of his house, now if he could find a way for her to live forever, then he would rethink his options. For now he would enjoy whatever amount of Kagome he could get.

**I, I feel so alive for the very first time**

**I can't deny You**

**I feel so alive**

**I, I feel so alive for the very first time**

**And I think I can fly**

-Sesshomaru felt it at the exact last moment, kagomes aura steadly approaching, she was masking her aura, maybe hoping to sneak up on him, possisably to decide wether or not to intrude on the lord in his mothers garden, he wouldn't have noticed her if his Yokai hadn't been so focused on her scent just moments ago.

-she was absolutely radiant, and she did seem a bit shocked that Sesshomaru was standing facing her almost like he was waiting for her to get here.

-her skin was still slightly moist and her hair damp from her bath, her face still carried the glow that only a good nights rest and a warm soak could bring out, he took a deep breath and he could still smell the bath oils clinging to her.

-never before had she looked so beautiful to him, never before had any human ever looked so wonderful. Maybe this was how his father saw Izayoi.

**Now that I know You (I could never turn my back away)**

**Now that I see You (I could never look away)**

**Now that I know You (I could never turn my back away)**

**Now that I see You (I believe no matter what they say)**

"is there something wrong Sesshomaru?"

-her voice broke thought his thoughts like some sort of cherubs song, instantly causing his body to react. In one swift movement he was across the garden standing in front of her.

"the problem that this Sesshomaru has is that he suddenly understands his fathers discretions."

-Kagome turned her eyes up to his, taking a moment to drink in his features before speaking quietly trying to keep the joy out of her tone.

"what exactly do you mean?"

-Sesshomaru brushed off her question, but ended up answering it better then even she could have hoped for.

"you will go to your former village, gather anything you have left behind, I wish you to have no reason to return there, you said I could keep you and I intend to do just that."

-kagomes smile was all the answer he needed to his unasked question, her happiness was soothing to him, only adding more wonder to his already bright day.

-as Kagome did a very unflattering happy dance Sesshomaru smiled, he smiled because somehow she had understood what he had silently asked.

-his order had asked _'will you stay with me?'_ while her smile and happy dance had clearly answered _'I was only waiting for your invitation' _

-he smiled while watching her, and when she looked up and found the pleased smile gracing his features she nearly launched herself at him, she hugged him with a ferocity that he didn't even know she possessed. Her arms slipping under his so that she wrapped her arms around his torso her face pressed against his chest.

-he might have once said that the way his arms were lifting to wrap around her sholders was an involuntary reaction, but nothing could taint the way that this simple action just felt so right. He even enjoyed it when he leaned his head down to rest his cheek against the top of kagomes head, seeking out the soothing scent of her freshly washed hair.

-even he could hear the insecurity in her voice when she asked.

"are you sure Sesshomaru? Do you really mean it? You would want me? Want to keep me?"

-the way she asked, the way that it seemed was that he was offering her a few coins for the valued possesion of her life, but he knew deep down inside she really just wanted someone to pick her, wanted someone to cast away all others and give her all of their love.

"of course I will keep you my miko, but only you, I will never keep another, and when our time ends, I will not keep pulling back to what once was."

-by the time he looked down he realized that Kagome was softly crying. He hadn't asked her to mate him, he had just promised that he would hold her highest in his eyes, and that when she left this world he would let her go, instead of keeping her tethered to this world like his brother had done with Kikyo.

-while he held a very warm, very living, and delicious smelling miko in his grasp he realized that he understood his brother even less.

-Inuyasha kept Kikyo tied to this realm because he was too selfish to let her go, and too heartbroken to move on. Moving on should have been easy, Inuyasha had once held kagomes heart in his hands, she would have given him anything he desired, including time to greve over his first love. But instead the Hanyou had chosen the cowards route, he kept both women, he was both too afraid to loose and too afraid to love again.

-Sesshomaru was just happy that his idiot brother had never realized that mistake.


	7. Tainted Love

AN- Ive been trying to update every day, but this has been kinda hard, ive been sick for the past couple of days and thats why I caught up with the chapters with my last update... special thanks to my muse J-Chan also I took the liberty of changing one word of the song, the word is inside brackets to make it stand out... I just felt funny with the words of the song ... the song for this chapter is tainted love, I dont know who origionally did it but marilyn manson did a pretty good job of it.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

-Kagome slipped from the back of Ah-Un easily like she had been riding him her whole life, today she entered into kaede's village with the pride associated to being a lady of the west.

-her kimono was made from the finest silks, boldly emblazoned with the colors of the west, around her neck she wore a necklace with a clear statement of who she was, dangling from the chain around her neck was a solid blue sapphire shaped into a crescent moon.

-Sesshomaru had repeatedly explained that all she needed to do was to show up in the village smelling like him to set Inuyasha off, but her goal was far from that. Kagome didn't care for the words or pleas from a Hanyou that couldn't choose one woman to love him, she wanted the people of the village to see her in all her splendor. She wanted the villagers to see what she had done with them in mind, she wanted them to know that she had the ruling leader of the western Yokai working on peace between humans and demons.

-Kagome passed the very tree that Inuyasha had spent many years attached to, the very tree that she had saved him from several years ago. Sadly the memories came flooding back.

**Sometimes I feel I've got to**

**Run away I've got to**

**Get away**

**From the pain that you drive into the heart of me**

-Kagome shook her head banishing all of the thoughts that seeped into the darkest corners of her mind. She stood tall and vowed to never let her heart be swayed by Inuyasha's brash ways.

**The love we share**

**Seems to go nowhere**

"Wench! I knew you would come crawling back eventually"

-Kagome had not even made it into kaede's hut before Inuyasha had found her, calling out like she was deaf. Her fingers twitched and she ached to just purify him where he stood.

**I've lost my lights**

**I toss and turn I can't sleep at night**

-Kagome just kept moving silently towards the hut that she had once called home, Kaede moved out into the doorway and greeted Kagome with open arms.

-Kagome had discussed her peculiar living arrangements with Kaede and the older woman supported her in what ever venture she chose, Kagome was a simple woman and only truly desired for happiness, Kaede believed that if Sesshomaru was that happiness then nothing should separate the two.

-Kagome begged Kaede to let some of the villagers come to the next fair at the castle promising that any one from the village would stay in the castle as honored guests. Feeling Inuyasha's aura creep closer Kagome gathered anything she had left there and set out to the farthest hut in the village.

**Once I ran to you (I ran)**

**Now I'll run from you**

-the hut Kagome made her way to was set far from all of the others, it was small and a bit shabby but for a long time she had called it home, it had been the home she had made with Inuyasha. The place that she had begun to raise Shippo as her own child and tried to make a proper life in the feudal era.

"Kagome?"

-Kagome was already pushing aside the flap that covered the doorway when Inuyasha's voice broke through her cool and collected façade.

"What do you want Inuyasha?"

"Its about time you came home, I've missed you."

**This tainted love you've given**

**I give you all a [girl] could give you**

**Take my tears and that's not nearly all**

**Tainted love**

-Kagome said nothing and just pushed her way into the hut, using every ounce of control she had to keep from crying. Her body rigid as she began grabbing her belongings and setting them in a pile in the middle of the room.

**Now I know I've got to**

**Run away I've got to**

**Get away**

**You don't really want any more from me**

"Kagome? What are you doing?"

-her heart raced as she tried to forget him, tried to just ignore the very confused Hanyou standing less then two feet away from her.

-her movements stopped when he wound his hands around her waist pulling her backwards into his warm chest. It felt so wrong to stand here like this, his arms around her like a lovers.

"Inuyasha, get your hands off of me."

**To make things right**

**You need someone to hold you tight**

**You think love is to pray**

**I'm sorry I don't pray that way**

-Kagome spun around to face the Hanyou, her voice cold as the ice now running in her veins.

"you didn't want me months ago Inuyasha, what makes you want me now?"

**Once I ran to you (I ran)**

**Now I'll run from you**

**This tainted love you've given**

**I give you all a [girl] could give you**

**Take my tears and that's not nearly all**

"I love you Kagome, I realize that now, my life is not the same without you."

**Tainted Love**

"did you know I used to hate Kikyo? Used to hate her because of the simple fact that if she hadn't been around you would have been able to give me all of yourself like I so desperately wanted. Now I realize that you strung her along just the same way you did to me."

-Inuyasha said nothing, just waited for her to continue, but when she didn't he spoke so softly she had to strain to hear.

"Kagome I chose, and I chose you."

-Inuyasha pulled Kagome into his arms stroking her hair looking deeply into her eyes.

"Kagome will you be mine?"

-Kagome blinked and tried to think of a good excuse why she could never stay with him, she wanted to, her whole body ached with the desire to wrap her own arms around him.

-then Kagome saw it, just the faint flash of a soul collector flash past the window, and her heart fell.

**Don't touch me please**

**I cannot stand the way you tease**

**I love you though you hurt me so**

**Now I'm going to pack my things and go**

-Kagome pushed Inuyasha away from her, grabbing up all of her possessions and heading out of the hut and towards the forest.

"I hope you told Kikyo about this choice of yours."

"Kagome wait!"

**Touch me baby, tainted love**

-she reached out and let her fingertips glide against one of the soul collectors that swirled around her, passing a silent message for them to take to Kikyo _'I need to talk to you, woman to woman'_

-Kikyo waited for Kagome in a nearby clearing, when Kagome burst through the trees Kikyo called out.

"Kagome why are you looking for me?"

-Kikyo had taken a good look at Kagome seeing the fancy kimono and the jewled necklace.

"so the rumors are true, you are the lady of the west?"

-Kagome only nodded a small smile gracing her lips.

"Kikyo I came to apologize, I hated you for so long because you held Inuyasha's heart, but it was wrong of me."

-Kikyo smiled softly tilting her head towards where they both felt Inuyasha's aura lingering on the edge of the clearing.

"you Kagome loved with the most pure of love, you loved with out ever expecting love back, Inuyasha took advantage of that, and to be honest, I'm sorry that my image tainted any love that he did give you"

-Kagome watched the other woman as she looked longingly towards the place Inuyasha was hidden.

"Kikyo, just love him, you know, I'm sure the two of you will be happy without me to worry about, and I know how much you love him."

"Do you love Sesshomaru?"

-Kagome laughed softly.

"I think I could, my life is good, its simple and I enjoy it."

-Inuyasha crashed into the clearing screaming and shouting.

"You're in love with my brother? Of all people Kagome? You had to go and find yourself in my brothers bed?!"

-Kagome lost it, she could feel her blood boiling as she stalked closer and closer to Inuyasha.

"first, the only person I ever shared a bed with was you! And you never wanted anything to do with me, because you never slept in that bed with me, I even did your work in the fields when you were no where around so that we could eat and keep our place to live! The only honorable thing you ever did for me was make sure that I stayed pure!"

-Inuyasha was fuming, and his eyes began to turn red but it was Kikyo's voice that kept him from transforming.

"Inuyasha just let her go, you loved her in your own way and now its time for us to start our life."

-Kagome didn't say anything as she walked up to Inuyasha and removed the spell that held the beads of subjugation to his neck, the beads fell away from his neck as Kagome's words hit his ears.

"we had some great times Inuyasha, I hope our lives bring us just as much happiness."

**Once I ran to you (I ran)**

**Now I'll run from you**

**This tainted love you've given**

**I give you all a [girl] could give you**

**Take my tears and that's not nearly all**

**Tainted love**


	8. so hard

**AN- this chapter is a short one I know but it really is just a chapter to introduce our first nemisis! the song is so hard by rihianna.**

this chapter is dedicated to Mikazuki Tsuki just for the fact that she wrote 'simply business' which I think took her like four years to write and get finished and I mean damn the kid has talent, her story really made my sick day a lot better.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

-Kagura, she was mean and vile and ruled her people with an iron fist, so what if her people consisted of just a few people in a village she had just now taken over, this was all she needed for a stepping stone to get what she really wanted.

-she wanted the western lord, she had wanted him even back when she had been Naraku's plaything but now this was for real, she knew that he would aspire to great things and since he didn't have a full blood heir she could offer something that other women wouldn't want, she was willing to give him as many children as he wanted, and knowing an Inu Yokai that could be a lot.

**They can say whatever**

**I'ma do whatever**

-Kagura had been heart broken when Naraku had just tossed her aside, but she was striving to have a new purpose in life.

**No pain is forever Yup!**

**You know this**

**Tougher than a lion**

**Ain't no need in tryin**

**I live where the sky ends Yup!**

-she was so sure her half cooked plan would work that she had just this morning decided to claim her self a bit of land.

**No fear**

**And while you're gettin your cry on**

**I'm gettin my fly on**

**Sincere**

-there was only one problem with this plan.

-no one seemed to be able to tell her before hand of Kagome the apparent lady of the western lands.

**I see you aiming at my pedestal**

**I better let you know**

**That I, I, I, I'm so hard**

-Kagura was not intimidated by having to meet with the lady of the house first, but she sure was smug when she told the lady of the west, she wanted to carry children for the lord of the west.

**So hard, So hard, So hard, So hard**

-Kagura was nearly ready to do a happy dance when Kagome sputtered and blushed, the demon even took some time to describe in detail just how she would go about seducing the lord of the house.

**All up on it**

**Know u wanna clone it**

-if she didn't know the pure innocent Miko better she would have thought that the young woman was taking notes, the Miko sure was paying very close attention to what she was saying.

**-**all the happiness ended when Kagome left the room and returned moments later with Jakken following along.

"Kagura since you didn't have any one to back up your claim that you would be an excellent child carrier I was thinking that you could carry Jakken around in your arms today and we can see how well that works, thank you for stopping in today."

**Gonna take more than that**

**Hope that I know you got**

**I need it all**


	9. Why dont you and I

**AN- thank you all for the mass amounts of hits ive been getting! its nice to know people are actuaccly reading this!!! please beware that this chapter may contain a bit of an ooc sesshomaru! but you have been warned in advance. plus my spell checker is on the fritz. fyi for anyone out there that loves graphics programs like photoshop... when you download fonts try not to put them in your default folder, cause then when youre trying to type soemthing up on your computer you have like 10 million fonts to sort through. -grimaces- okay I will stop ranting now please R&R. the song in this chapter is "why dont you and I" and its by nickleback and santana... I dunno who is featuring who thought...**

**also this chapter is dedicated to Yokou Kumiko she gave me my first review on this fic!! and still reads it! (im so glad I havent scared you off)**

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

-Sesshomaru could be a normal person he assumed, not that it was anything like his normal personality, but there was something he was learning about Kagome that made him want to be normal, if she was normal well then he wanted more.

**Since the moment I spotted you**

**Like walking 'round with little wings on my shoes**

**My stomach's filled with the butterflies And it's alright**

-he had breakfast with her this morning, tea with her at noon, even sat with her napping against his arm during court this afternoon, but even with as much as he saw her, why did he miss her so much right now?

**Bouncing round from cloud to cloud**

**I got the feelin' like I'm never gonna come down**

**If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied**

-dinner was and always will be the worst time, they always had someone else with them at dinner, no matter how much he longed for some sort of privacy. The great western lord just wanted a few moments of a particular Miko's time uninterrupted. He just wanted to relax and breath in her scent.

-he had tried to ask her to take a afternoon away with him but some how he had ended up insulting the breakfast she made.

-all he said was he wanted to get away from the odors inside. There was no way she should have thought that her home cooked breakfast was the source.

**Every time I try to talk to you**

**I get tongue-tied**

**Turns out, everything I say to you**

**Comes out wrong and never comes out right**

-the Yokai sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, he really needed a way to just drink Kagome in, and hell he was half way tempted to mate her just so they could share the same bed and he could have her undivided attention for more then a few passing moments.

**So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world, be together forever**

**Heads we will and tails we'll try again**

-Sesshomaru didn't seem as opposed to it as he once would have, in fact he was beginning to really like the strange Miko, even with her unfamiliar phrases and her almost never ending clumsiness there was just something that drew him to her.

**So I say why don't you and I hold each other, fly to the moon**

**and straight on to heaven**

**Cause without you they're never gonna let me in**

-Rin loved the Miko, absolutely adored the woman, so if his ward loved Kagome so much that meant that he might be able to loosen up and love her too right?

**When's this fever gonna break ?**

**I think I've handled more than any man can take**

**I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around**

**And it's alright**

-he stood tall and tried to tell himself that he didn't really need the woman at all. He didn't want her did he?

-who was he really kidding thought, no one would ever tell him that his life was better before Kagome, and it was so bad now that his staff all had levels to tell time, before Jakken (there were not many who could speak of this time) there was before Rin, which every one agreed life after Rin was much better. Lastly there was life before Kagome, normally before Kagome included every time that Sesshomaru had ever been rude, or ill tempered or anything of the sort, after Kagome was becoming a phrase that simply explained the humanity that many saw loitering just below the surface of Sesshomaru's steely resolve.

-really who was he kidding, life simply was not life unless he had both his Rin and Kagome time lines running together, maybe one day it would be before the family and after the family.

-**Family,** Sesshomaru really liked that term, sadly he never had a chance to use it before now.

**Slowly I begin to realize this is never gonna end**

**But about the same time you walk by**

**And I say oh here we go again, oh**

-it seemed the gods had intervened on his behalf today thought, because just as Sesshomaru realized he was hungry a very stressed looking Kagome slipped into the office with a tray of food.

"I'm sorry Sesshomaru, but today has just been pure hell, I was hoping you would just like to stay up here and have a meal, I thought it would be nice to have a meal just the two of us with out any kids or nobles to butt their noses into it."

-the Yokai merely nodded and motioned Kagome over to a low sitting table he had in the corner for the often amount of times he had taken his meals in his office so that he could just try and get more of his work done.

"Kagome I must ask, who was the demon I saw walking around earlier carrying Jakken? And can you tell this Sesshomaru what exactly would be gained by having someone carry around Jakken, is he not annoying enough when propelled by his own means?"

-the sound of Kagome's laughter filled the room for a small moment and Sesshomaru just tried to enjoy it for as long as he could.

"she is Kagura! You remember her right? She was with Naraku for a while? Well she was looking for work I guess, she came to me saying she wanted to carry your children or something like that, but I wasn't going to let her carry Shippo or Rin so I told her to carry around Jakken hes kid sized I guess"

-Sesshomaru had the sudden urge to kiss the stupidity out of Kagome, but he didn't know if he would ever have enough time to do such a task.

"Kagome, this Sesshomaru will speak slowly so your delicate human mind will understand, when she said she wanted to carry the child of the lord of the west, she meant she wanted to find herself in the bed of the aforementioned lord."

-kagome's laughter rang out again, and Sesshomaru smirked while picking at the items she was filling his plate with. He did notice as well that she always made sure to give him a bigger portion of everything, and always served him first. Little respectful things like this made up for every single one of Kagome's faults, it seemed that no matter how badly the human messed up, she had some enduring trait that seemed to outshine the negative.

"I knew that! She even went into great detail about it, who would have thought she would turn out to be such a pervert, but she never said 'hi I would like to give birth to the future heir's of the western lands' if she had I would have thought of a better way to embarrass her, seeing as I only used her words against her."


	10. use somebody

AN- there are some yoga poses in this chapter... and all you need to know is that the last pose... is one where you stand with your feet sholder width apart and basically grab your ankles... also there is some **suggested **perverted stuff.... but only **suggested... **I mean I didnt even use any naughty words or anything... Ive only put this at a teen rating and I am doing my hardest to keep that... if **anyone **thinks this should be set to mature please let me know either in a pm or a review and I will change it immediately. thank you!! also the song in this chapter is "Use somebody" by kings of leon.

btw: does anyone use open office? apparently its the only program I can use that will keep all my font settings when I upload it. if anyone loves/hates it please let me know.

* * *

-hot springs. While Kagome's life had become so much different at the castle it also had gotten greatly better, better then she could have imagined. The main reason? There was a beautiful hot spring located in a cavern underneath the castle, meaning she could bathe in private.

-Every morning Kagome went and had a soak in the hot springs, never before in the feudal era had she felt so human, or so beautiful, her hair and skin simply glowed. Her bath time was the time she could relax and meditate if she needed to. Some days she would even grab a light breakfast and eat it at the springs.

-Today found the young woman heading down for a bath just a bit later then normal.

**I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see  
painting faces, building places I can't reach**

-she knew Sesshomaru normally came down at about this time, but she felt like she could risk it.

**You know that I could use somebody...  
you know that I could use somebody...  
**

-once she reached the waters edge she set down her basket of bathing items, and slowly stretched, then peeled off the light robe she wore. She had brought along plenty of bathing suits so that she could bathe without having to worry about being seen.

-after another round of stretches the Miko lowered her self to the ground next to the water and began to do some of her favorite yoga poses. Yoga was always her favorite way to meditate, she would do about a dozen poses and just repeat her mantras for meditation during her impromptu yoga work out.

**Someone like you and all you know and how you speak  
countless lovers undercover of the streets  
**

-simple ones came first, the fish pose followed by the plow pose, then the wind relieving pose. The Miko was feeling all of her stress simply melt away.

-then the woman got onto her hands and knees to move to the child pose, then she lifted her torso up and moved effortlessly into the cat tilt pose. That one always reminded her of buyo her cat back home at her mothers. She smiled softly as she thought of her pet cat.

-Kagome then found her feet as she rose up and then bent her entire body over in the standing forward fold, she hadn't even held her pose for a second when a voice reached her ears.

"Miko, I suggest you stop offering yourself up, I assume your purity is of value to you."

-Kagome screamed and in her rush to twirl around to face her attacker she toppled over into the water.

**You know that I could use somebody...  
you know that I could use somebody...  
**

-the cold hearted lord of the western lands crouched at the edge of the water making sure that Kagome was indeed still alive before effortlessly shedding his clothing and climbing into the water, he was smirking by the time a very flushed Kagome had finally found her way to the surface.

"you pervert! I cant believe you stood there and watched me do my yoga poses! And in nothing but my bathing suit."

-the lord smirked as he leaned against a rock sticking out of the water, watching her as she continued to chastise him for watching her, even calling him a peeping tom, whatever that was.

"Kagome you seem to have missed out on the worst part of it all in your rant."

-her face paled and she wondered if he had been _excited _by watching her pose.

"while this Sesshomaru greatly enjoyed the show you put on doing your _yoga _the fact remains that this demon would have appreciated it more had you _not _been wearing that 'bathing suit' and provided all of your supple body for my viewing pleasure"

**Someone like you**

-Kagome was speechless, and while she stood in the chest deep water a crimson blush staining as far as Sesshomaru could see above the water, and mentally he cheered himself on his ability to keep her from talking for several minuets.

-while he waited for her to regain the ability to speak he let his mind wander, strangely onto other ways he could keep this particular Miko from talking, his first idea however involved binding the Miko so he tossed it. The second idea had his body set ablaze, his mind vividly showed him an image of him fist-ing his hand into Kagome's hair and bringing her to kneel, and very actively giving her something to wrap her mouth around.

-the yoaki nearly groaned out loud at the vivid images, the fantasies of her mouth setting his body on fire, and to make matters worse when his eyes found the object of his desire, Kagome was very slowly licking her lips.

**I hope it's going to make you notice...  
I hope it's going to make you notice...**

-Kagome guessed at what Sesshomaru was thinking when he groaned, she assumed it must have had something to do with the way his eyes traveled her body with a hunger in them she had never seen any man aim towards her.

-Kagome wanted him, in the most primal way.

**Someone like me...  
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh) Someone like me...  
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh) someone like me... somebody...  
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh) [wha-ah-ah]  
(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)**

-so in a manner very unlike herself, the very pure and very much a virgin Kagome climbed out of the water and slowly removed the offending articles of clothing, and began again with her yoga.

-she assumed the snarling coming from the Inu Yokai was the reaction she wanted.

**(I'm ready now, I'm ready now  
I'm ready now, I'm ready now  
I'm ready now, I'm ready now  
I'm ready now)  
**

-her body tensed as suddenly felt his familiar fingers trailing over the exposed skin of her back, and she waited expecting him to quickly usher her into womanhood. His words however gave her a new respect for him.

"please Kagome don't ask me until you are positive you want this."

-his voice was soft and almost pained, Kagome knew that he was trying to protect the one thing she had never offered Inuyasha, because while she had offered Inuyasha her heart, she deep down had never trusted him enough to offer him her body. The Miko knew deep down that Sesshomaru was trying desperately to treasure the fact that Kagome had offered him everything she had to give.

-trying not to blush Kagome stood up straight, smiled and grabbed Sesshomaru's hand leading him into the water.

"come on, I will wash your hair if you wash mine."

-----------------

"Miko, you have still failed to tell me what transpired when you went back to your village, for the last time I ask you, do I need to kill the filthy half breed."

-Kagome smiled softly looking into the eyes of the western lord.

"no Sesshomaru, you do not need to hurt him, I've already made my peace with him and Kikyo and I said I was sorry to her too, she didn't deserve the way that I hated her because of your brother."

-Sesshomaru just nodded softly before pulling Kagome to lean against a rock with him, tucking a few wet strands behind one of her ears.

"Kagome, know that I was sincere when I said I would keep you, when your broken heart has mended I want to make good on that promise."

-Kagome had no idea what that meant, was she going to become his mate? Or was she simply going to make some agreement to stay there with him for some set amount of time.

"I don't get what you're saying."

"Woman, this Sesshomaru is giving you the best opportunity of your short life, become the lady of the west, agree to be this Sesshomaru's intended."

-Kagome nearly jumped for joy, she had always dreamed of what it would be like when a man finally proposed to her, and this topped all of those fantasies.

"Of course Sesshomaru! There is nothing in life I would like better then to have a chance to build a life with you"

-Sesshomaru smiled softly, a real smile thought, his teeth even peeked for a moment, but soon enough he had tipped his head to Kagome's and captured her lips in a soft kiss, when her body seemed to be stiff and her lips frozen from the shock, the Yokai lord gripped her shoulders and leaned back to take a good look at her, finding nothing more sinisterly wrong with her then the red shade her face had become he moved in once more and kidnapped her lips again. His Yokai flaring when her soft lips moved against his own, her body scooting closer to his within the dark waters.

-when Kagome broke away from his lips to catch her breath the still smiling western lord helped the human woman out of the water and climbed out after her, they were quiet as they dressed, each too worried that breaking the silence would somehow break the spell that had seemed to be cast over this very place. Once Sesshomaru was dressed for the day he looked over at Kagome a smirk on his lips as he spoke.

"if you hurry woman we can eat and then tell the children the news."

"Our children Sesshomaru, _our_ children."

-as the western lord took the Miko's hand he realized just how much he liked that family word.


	11. it wasent me

**AN- Im really sorry for making everyone wait for the update, ive been super busy, but im gonna try to make up for lost time, also thanks to everyone who reviewed!! im almost up to 1000 hits on this story!! -dances- anyways the song for this chapter is "it wasent me" by Shaggy.**

**by the way, open office is awesome, its got like the worlds best spell checker... but it dont check grammar!! I finally downloaded a grammar checker and got it working but it didnt check capatlization OR puncuation!!! and those are my two worst problems... so I decided Im just gonna keep with what I have and edit each chapter before I send it out like I was doing before.**

* * *

Today had been a trying day, there had been too many meetings to count, and there had been three days that the Yokai lord had even had a chance to see his precious Miko.

Sesshomaru didn't like the thought of being in love; he still had yet to admit it even to himself, much less tell Kagome that he loved her. What would he do? Grovel and tell her that he would never think of anyone as highly as he thought of her? He did however know that both he and his inner demon were perfectly content thinking of Kagome as their intended.

One day soon he would be able to take the beautiful raven haired Miko as his own, the only thing that he worried about was the fact that they would breed hanyou as a result, their children would be the one thing that he despised most of all.

But they had two very perfect children already didn't they? A beautiful young Miko in training and a young Yokai who was the heir to the western lands, yes while he would take Kagome as his mate, he now no longer worried about the possibility of any Hanyou in the future.

as Sesshomaru walked the halls of his castle he heard a young servant girl talking about the fact that tonight was the night of the new moon, Sesshomaru thought of all the times that Inuyasha had spent the night of the new moon alone and scared that he would be attacked in his human form, and he remembered all the times that Kagome had protected his brother with her very life.

That got his mind working.

------.------

It was just after sundown when Sesshomaru slipped into Kagome's room, taking a deep breath of her very unique scent; it was comforting to say the least and always seemed to take some of the weight off of his shoulders.

"Kagome? This Sesshomaru was hoping you were awake."

The Miko squealed as she peeked out from behind a changing screen a toothy grin taking up a place on her face.

"I'm just getting dressed give me a moment and I will be out."

Anxious amber eyes stayed staring at the screen for what seemed like hours before the woman emerged, dressed in a white kimono, it seemed that Kagome was mourning on her first new moon having faced Inuyasha.

Sesshomaru couldn't say that he blamed her.

In a second he had gathered Kagome into his arms and left out of the window carrying her as he used his Yokai cloud to fly to the closest mountain top. Once there he placed Kagome onto her feet and just stood looking up at the stars.

"This Sesshomaru notices you are in mourning"

"Yeah I'm mourning my old life for the last time, this is the last new moon I will ever think about Inuyasha and I promise I won't ever wish I was there to protect him again."

The Inuyokai said nothing, just reached out and wrapped Kagome in his arms.

"Then it is time to start a new tradition. Today we will watch the sunrise."

------.-------

the pair had spent all night laying on a blanket watching the stars in the night sky and talking, just talking, Kagome lay with her head on Sesshomaru's chest and they didn't worry about a single thing, they just enjoyed each other, when sunrise came Sesshomaru pulled Kagome to her feet and hand in hand they watched a brand new day be born.

By the time they had reached the castle rumors were already floating around about the pair, how they had snuck out like young lovers wanting a moment of privacy before the rush of planning to mate.

Kagura however saw this as an opportunity, and soon enough she found Kagome walking towards the breakfast hall, luckily she was alone.

"Kagome-Sama may I have a word with you?"

Kagome paused for a moment and because she did not want to draw any unnecessary attention she pulled the other woman into an empty room to chat.

"What do you want? "

"Kagome I would like to save you any humiliation that may be in your future."

The Miko laughed, she didn't think that anything Kagura could say would be of any substance.

"Miko, Lord Sesshomaru promised that if I could get pregnant before he took you as his mate, he would mate you off to that wolf and would make me lady of his lands. I tried to tell you that I had come here to carry lord Sesshomaru's children, but sadly you didn't believe me. I'm sorry I wanted to tell you, but he swore me to secrecy."

Kagome took a long time before she formulated an answer. She made sure that her voice was completely devoid of any emotion before she spoke.

"So Sesshomaru has been sneaking around behind my back, tell me then, when do you meet with him normally? "

"Right before dinner, he told me that he normally trains during that time, but that the men cover for him if he's not there. He just slips into my rooms and has his way with me."

-----.----.

It was an hour before dinner and Sesshomaru was no where to be found.

There was nothing but lies to Kagura's story but why did Kagome believe her so adamantly? She didn't want to believe the woman; she wanted nothing more then to purify her on the spot. As if of their own will Kagome's feet led her to Kagura's room, and with out knocking she opened the door.

The vision that met her eyes was the one she dreaded most.

Sesshomaru's pale body was over Kagura's, and there was no denying that was going on. However Kagome seemed not to notice several things.

_1. Sesshomaru seemed to be missing all of his demonic markings._

_2. The entire room smelled like cinnamon even thought Sesshomaru couldn't stand the smell._

_3. His hair wasn't long enough._

_4. His aura seemed to be off, like it was false somehow._

Kagome over looked all of her four warning signs. She had seen it, and for her that was all she needed. Kagura was right.

And if the change in Kagura's aura meant what Kagome thought, she was already pregnant.

-----.-----

Sesshomaru had spent hours trying to find Kagome, she had promised to teach him how to play checkers and she had been missing since lunch. If he had been the worrying type he would have worried now.

By the time that he found Kagome, she was already in Shippo's room packing up everything that belonged to her adopted child. She was not angry; she was not crying, and most of all she was not surprised that this happened to her.

"Kagome, this Sesshomaru would like to know why you have been missing all day."

The Miko laughed softly before answering, her voice was cold and cool, and not a single ounce of the pain she felt was heard in her voice.

"I will tell you where I was if you tell me when you were planning on telling me that Kagura is pregnant."

"The woman who carried Jakken is pregnant, good for her, now tell me why I should have known and tell me where you were all day."

Kagome didn't answer; she didn't know what to say. How could she face this man, how could she tell him that she loved him and he had just broken her heart.

At least she respected him for not taking away the last thing she had to give, she was in the smallest way glad that he had waited for her to be ready; she would have hated to have given him her innocence and then found out that he was seeing Kagura as well.

"I've been packing since just before dinner, I saw you with Kagura in her room, you don't have to lie to me I can understand it."

**Honey came in and she caught me red-handed**

"What do you mean you saw this Sesshomaru with that woman?"

"I _saw _you. I saw you with my own eyes"

**All this time she was standing there**

**She never took her eyes off me**

"You saw this Sesshomaru leave for the eastern lands?"

Kagome looked very confused and she turned back to the packing, she hated thinking that she was being lied to, in all the time she had known the lord of the western lands he had never lied to her, why would he start now?

She could understand his desire to have a full blooded heir, to have a child that was his blood, she didn't hold that against him, and if he had simply told her that he was trying to make a child with the other woman, Kagome wouldn't have felt badly at all she would have simply understood.

But she caught me on the counter **(It wasn't me)**

Saw me bangin' on the sofa **(It wasn't me)**

I even had her in the shower **(It wasn't me)**

She even caught me on camera **(It wasn't me)**

"I saw you and Kagura being intimate Sesshomaru, I know what it is when two people are naked together like _that_"

The Yokai began to get a little bit angry, how she dare even suggest that he had even touched another woman while he had already claimed Kagome as his.

"This Sesshomaru has never touched that vile woman, nor have I ever wanted or wished to."

He could see the emotions flittering across Kagome's face, and he didn't know what to say, obliviously she had gotten the foolish idea from somewhere.

"You don't have to lie to me, I can handle the truth."

She saw the marks on my shoulder **(It wasn't me)**

Heard the words that I told her **(It wasn't me)**

Heard the scream get louder **(It wasn't me)**

She stayed until it was over

Sesshomaru was certain that he only had two choices; he could either lie and admit to doing whatever it was that he was being accused of, and hope to gain Kagome's forgiveness. It sounded like a good idea seeing as she didn't seem too upset about him supposedly sleeping with another woman, the Miko seemed more upset that she thought she was being lied to. Sesshomaru guessed he could then deal with Kagura any way he saw fit, but if Kagome thought that Kagura was indeed pregnant with his child she would never let him kill the vile demon.

Could he live with a lie for nine months thought?

His second option would be to simply maintain his innocence, he just couldn't stand the thought of lying to Kagome, the very woman who had offered him so much and asked for so little.

"Kagome, I know you don't believe me, but I never did anything with Kagura"

**Gonna tell her that I'm sorry**

**For the pain that I've caused**

Kagome sighed and her head bowed, Sesshomaru knew from experience that the Miko was trying hard not to cry.

He crossed the room in seconds reaching out to wrap his arms around her, but Kagome's Miko energy kept him at arms distance.

Kagome looked up at Sesshomaru with sadness in her eyes and pain clear across her face, she walked up to him and with a softness he had only imagined she reached up and kissed his lips softly murmuring.

"I'm sorry but I'm taking Shippo and going home to my time, thank you for everything, you really made me feel loved while it lasted."


	12. in the end

**AN- so interesting story, my boyfriend dresses up every year at comic con and someone found images of us they used in the simpsons 20th annivisary... I mean seriously its not much but damn!**

**anyways the song for this chapter is "in the End" by linkin park**

* * *

Kagome had been home with Shippo for all of twelve minuets before the Kitsune started sobbing.

"Mama I wanna go home! I wanna go back and be with Rin and Sesshomaru-Sama and even ugly old Jakken, I just wanna go home."

Kagome tried to talk to Shippo, she tried to explain what had happened but it seemed that living in the future would be something he would just have to get used to. She was not going back and that was final.

Kagome's mother had understood, even offering to put another bed into Souta's room so that the older boy could at least try to be of some comfort to Shippo.

**One thing / I don't know why**

**It doesn't even matter how hard you try**

She couldn't stay in that castle for another moment longer, with Kagura silently laughing at her, and Sesshomaru still claiming innocence. She had taken her child and run for it, hoping to never be put into that situation again.

**All I know**

**time is a valuable thing**

**Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings**

**Watch it count down to the end of the day**

**The clock ticks life away**

She could at least say that it was nice while it lasted, she had enjoyed her time there and had really felt loved and cherished in the small time that she had with Sesshomaru.

**It's so unreal**

**Didn't look out below**

**Watch the time go right out the window**

**Trying to hold on / but didn't even know**

**Wasted it all just to**

**Watch you go**

Shippo was not doing well, he was homesick and they hadn't even been here that long, Kagome was almost tempted to take the Kitsune right back through that well.

The poor child, little did he know the hard work he was going to have to do if he was going to make it here.

Kagome was going to have to finish high school and get a job to help her mother and support her child and poor Shippo was going to have to find a way to blend into the rest of the world and start school. It would be tough but Kagome was almost looking forward to it.

**I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart**

**What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard**

**And got so far**

**But in the end**

**It doesn't even matter**

Kagome sighed softly looking at the bath her mother had drawn her.

Bathing- she remembered the one time she had offered Sesshomaru everything that she was, offered herself mind, body, and soul. While she thought she should have felt insulted for a man such as him self not wanting to take everything she offered she also felt good because he respected her enough not to just use her up and throw her away.

**I had to fall**

**To lose it all**

**But in the end**

**It doesn't even matter**

When Kagome emerged from the long soak she felt like a new woman, she had a new outlook on life and she was ready for whatever would come her way, she had in her own way forgiven Sesshomaru and hoped that maybe one day she and Shippo could go back.

**In spite of the way you were mocking me**

**Acting like I was part of your property**

**Remembering all the times you fought with me**

**I'm surprised it got so (far)**

-----.-----.-----

It had only been a few days and already Kagome and Shippo had bought new clothes and enrolled in school.

Kagome was elated that for once her grandfather had come up with a good excuse, he had told everyone that she had been studying abroad in the united states, when she failed to come home during break her grandfather just simply said that she had met a boy.

When she enrolled Shippo in school they had already known the story of how she had taken in the poor orphaned child, they claimed that no one in the states would take him in because he didn't speak English.

Life was much easier then she imagined.

**Things aren't the way they were before**

**You wouldn't even recognize me anymore**

**Not that you knew me back then**

**But it all comes back to me**

**in the end**

Her school gave her the option of testing for graduation, since she was supposed to have been studying for the exit exams she was given the option to take them as soon as she could. She passed easily and was soon enrolling in a college part time and looking for a job.

She indeed was a new woman.

She still missed Sesshomaru though, and even Shippo missed the cold lord. Sometimes she would find herself looking for signs of him in the future, hoping maybe she could see what he would have become, what great things he would go on to doing.

**You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart**

**What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard**

**And got so far**

**But in the end**

**It doesn't even matter**

Once she had her first day at her new job she realized that this was not the life for her. She hated standing at the register and waiting for people to bring her their purchases, it really was too bad she couldn't help her grandfather care for the shrine.

To be honest, while she was doing all the things she once wished to do, she felt worse about it. She had a good job, was about to start school and was doing a pretty good job of being a mother.

It just wasn't the same without Sesshomaru, and his beautiful little girl Rin, it seemed that the house just wasn't right without bundles of wild flowers setting on every available space.

**I've put my trust in you**

**Pushed as far as I can go**

**For all this**

**There's only one thing you should know**

Sometimes at night Kagome would stand at her bedroom window looking towards the well house just hoping and praying that Sesshomaru and Rin were doing alright. She would stay that way most nights until Shippo came in and helped her into bed.


	13. let me go

**AN- im sorry to anyone who was upset about kagome leaving, its just sorta the most important part of this story, and im sure you will understand why soon enought.**

**the song for this chapter is "let me go" by Cake.**

* * *

It had been almost three weeks since Kagome had left the castle of the western lord.

Kagura had been imprisoned after telling the truth about the lie she had told Kagome, now all Rin was trying to do was convince Sesshomaru that they needed to go to Kagome's time and go get her and bring her and Shippo back into the feudal era.

Sesshomaru had run into a little glitch.

The well didn't work for him, and he was severely embarrassed when his brothers' wench found him sitting alone beside the bone eaters well.

"Lord Sesshomaru, why are you trying to use Kagome's well?"

The cold Yokai said nothing; he just ignored the woman, wondering how his brother ever got over the smell of clay.

It wasn't until Inuyasha appeared in the lord's sight that he moved or even spoke.

"Half breed, you will show this Sesshomaru the trick to work this well."

Inuyasha just smirked looking at his brother, wondering how Kagome had managed to capture his heart. He smiled even wider when he realized that his brother had done something so stupid as to drive Kagome away.

"There is no trick it simply lets in who it will, it allows Kagome to get through, and it allows me."

**When she walks**

**She swings her arms, instead of her hips**

**When she talks she moves her mouth, instead of her lips**

Sesshomaru felt his blood run cold as the thought of Inuyasha visiting Kagome in the future ran rampant in his mind, he blinked back unwanted images of Kagome finding comfort in his brothers arms.

"Sesshomaru are you alright?"

Inuyasha's brash attitude was gone and in its place was genuine concern.

"I miss Kagome."

The words were so soft that Inuyasha thought that maybe he had imagined them, but seeing the pained look on his brothers' face made him realize just what was going on in his head.

"Sesshomaru I promise I haven't visited Kagome at all, I didn't even know that she had left until Kikyo told me."

The Inuyokai took a deep breath and stood. His figure not as imposing as it once was, there was something defeating about being broken hearted.

**I've waited for her for so long**

**I've waited for her for so long**

**I've wondered if I could hang on **

**I've wondered if I could hang on **

"What made her go back?"

Kikyo asked the delicate question her features knit together in worry, her arms reaching out as if she wanted to soothe the poor Yokai.

"She thought that I had satisfied my urges with another, and even though she was accepting of the fact, she seemed to think I was lying about being innocent."

**"Let me go," she said**

**Let me go and I will want you more**

**Let me go, let me go**

**Let me go and I will want you **

The cold hearted lord of the west sat heavily on the edge of the well before looking up into the eyes of his half brother.

"Can you speak to her? Tell her the truth?"

Inuyasha looked like he totally understood his brothers heart ache, and when he spoke he knew his brother didn't want to hear what he had to say.

**When she wants**

**She wants the sun instead of the moon**

**When she sees**

**She sees the stars inside of her room **

"I cant she wont listen to me and you know that, all she knows is what makes sense to her, maybe you could give her time and hope that she comes around."

Kikyo only added to the despair that Sesshomaru currently felt like he was drowning in.

"You should go home and take care of your child, she needs you, don't neglect her because you are unhappy."


	14. Stay

**AN- Im finally ahead again in this story!! and thank you to all of my reviewers new and old. I finally got past that 1000 hits I was aiming for, im up to like 1300 now -dances-**

**the song for this chapter is "stay" by lisa loeb, and while it dosent really fit the theme of the chapter, it does make sence, I suggest listening to this song before reading the chapter, or while reading the chapter, it makes alot of sence in this situation.**

* * *

Kagome was officially miserable.

She had spent all week working as hard as she could and when she finally got her much anticipated pay check it was nothing like what she expected, she wasent greedy but it seemed that no matter how much money was in her paycheck, she just couldn't afford to buy everything she needed.

She hated that feeling, back when she was in the feudal era she never wanted for anything.

**You say I only hear what I want to. **

**You say I talk so all the time so.**

** And I thought what I felt was simple, **

**and I thought that I don't belong, **

**and now that I am leaving, **

**now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you. **

Kagome sniffled softly trying to keep from crying when one of her coworkers approached her.

"Kagome why are you always so sad, Ive heard the stories about how you moved back home when your american boyfriend broke up with you, but why are you still so hung up over him? If you broke up with him then you should let him go, forget about him and meet someone new!"

Kagome just never could explain what was wrong to anyone, maybe it had to do withh the way that Sesshomaru always looked down at her, like she was worthless or she was not good enough to be around him and sharing his precious air.

**Yeah yeah, I missed you. **

**And you say I only hear what I want to: **

**I don't listen hard, **

**don't pay attention to the distance that you're running**

** to anyone, anywhere, **

She tried to remember the way his smile looked, the way he looked that day he took her to see the sunrise, but every time that she remembered the good times she would remember how it was to see his body poised over Kaugras.

Kagome still didn't understand it.

**I don't understand if you really care, **

**I'm only hearing negative: **

**no, no, no. **

**So I turned the radio on, **

**I turned the radio up, **

**and this woman was singing my song: **

Sometimes she knew that it hadn't been Sesshomaru, knew deep in her heart that he would never have lied about something like that, but other times she thought that he was just as bad as his half brother, nothing more then a cheater.

**lover's in love, **

**and the other's run away, **

**lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay. **

**Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was **

**dying since the day they were born. **

Kagome walked home through the park today, watching children playing was easy, she tried not to miss Rin too much, and her hands were pretty full with Shippo, but there was just something about missing your little girl that tore up her heart, she wanted nothing more then to go back and take Rin to the future too.

She was being selfish and she knew it.

**And I thought I'd live forever,**

** but now I'm not so sure. **

**You try to tell me that I'm clever, **

**but that won't take me anyhow, **

**or anywhere with you. **

When Kagome finally made her way home she was greeted to the sight of Shippo standing in front of the well house. His aura radiated pure depression, and she was sure that he had spent at least a little bit of time trying desperately to make the well work.

"Shippo, what are you doing?"

"nothing mama, I thought Sesshomaru was there that's all."

**You said that I was naive, **

**and I thought that I was strong. **

**I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave." **

**Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, **

**'cause I missed you. **

Kagome spent that night at the well house, trying to feel for what was on the other side of the well, she just wanted to feel Sesshomaru's aura just once, she just wanted to say goodbye.


	15. here without you

**AN- im on a updating rampage! and let me tell you, i didnt know this story was going to get this far! im about half way through right now, ive got maybe ten more chapters to go... but let me tell you, ive been dying to use this song in a fic for like.... forever.**

**the song is "here without you" by three doors down.**

* * *

Sesshomaru had never spent so much time in the gardens.

He spent most of his days trying to keep his lands going, trying to keep Rin happy and trying to keep his sanity.

Life just seemed so much easier when he had a Miko here who loved him.

**A hundred days have made me older**

**Since the last time that I saw your pretty face**

**A thousand lies have made me colder**

**And I don't think I can look at this the same**

**But all the miles that separate**

**Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face**

He missed Kagome, and there was no denying that. He loved the beautiful woman more then he ever imagined he could love anyone much less a pathetic human.

Kagome was more then just a mere human thought, she was strong and loving and full of life. It seemed that every day Sesshomaru spent without Kagome the more things he would find that reminded him of her. It seemed that he found her face everywhere he looked.

**I'm here without you baby**

**But you're still on my lonely mind**

**I think about you baby**

**And I dream about you all the time**

Every night Sesshomaru took a walk in the gardens, letting his Yokai out to search for Kagome's scent, any trace of her aura that would soothe his agitated soul, he wanted her back, and he would be dammned if he didn't find a way soon.

He woke up thinking of Kagome, thought of her all day long, went to sleep thinking of Kagome and then to make matters worse he dreamed of Kagome.

**I'm here without you baby**

**But you're still with me in my dreams**

**And tonight it's only you and me, yeah**

Many nights Sesshomaru found comfort in his adopted child, she missed the Miko and the Kitsune so badly she often had nightmares, and when Sesshomaru held Rin he felt closer to Kagome somehow, maybe because he had never acted so nurturing or loving before the raven haired woman crept into his heart.

**The miles just keep rollin'**

**As the people leave their way to say hello**

**I've heard this life is overrated**

**But I hope that it gets better as we go, oh yeah yeah**

Sesshomaru just never seemed to find anything to fill the place the little Miko had made in his life, he tortured prisoners, waged wars, took over other peoples lands and made laws so stupid he was expecting Kagome to slap him upside the head for his actions.

He even got Rin a puppy.

Every time the scruffy ball of fur launched itself at him licking his face and ears he had to smile, he always imagined Kagome smiling and giggling as a dog licked her face.

**Everything I know and anywhere I go**

**It gets hard but it won't take away my love**

**And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done**

**It gets hard but it won't take away my love, whoa**

That night as Sesshomaru laid down in bed ready to sleep, his thoughts lingered on Kagome, he would give her untill the end of the week then he was going to solve this problem, he was going to get his Miko back.

**And tonight girl it's only you and me, yeah oh yeah oh**

-----.-----

That night Inuyasha decided to do something to help the one person he hated most in the world, but he told himself he was doing it to make Kagome happy.

"Inuyasha, maybe you just cant stand to see Kagome and Sesshomaru not be together, after all when you left Kagome your brother took her in, he mended her broken heart so she could move on and even try to be happy and supportive of us, you owe this to yourself and you owe this to them. I know you want them to be happy, just as much as you want to be happy yourself."

Kikyo's words rang true and without a second thought Inuyasha lept through the well.

-----.-----

Kagome was the first to reach the well house.

There had been a loud noise coming from the well house and Kagome ran out of the house in her pajamas and bare feet hoping she would see Sesshomaru standing there in all his regal glory.

His dirt covered half brother would have to do though.

"Wench! Why did you go and rearrange the well house? How was I ever supposed to make it out alive with all that crap blocking the path?"

Kagome said nothing, she just stood still with her arms crossed over her chest watching and waiting.

Inuyasha could feel the tension thick in the air and tried to calm Kagome as much as he could.

"you got a hair cut, it looks nice."

"I got several hairs cut, now get to the point, why are you here?"

Inuyasha seemed defeated, his head hung low when he begain to speak and his voice was so soft that Kagome had to strain to hear him.

"Kagome Sesshomaru was telling the truth, he wasent the one you saw with kaugra. He told me and Kikyo what happned when we found him trying to use the well. The well just wont let him throught, hes going crazy too, starting wars and doing all sorts of crazy stuff you would never allow. Come home Kagome."

Kagome took a long moment to think about all of this, her body stiff and her face an emotionless mask.

"if he wants me he can come and get me, I assume that any Miko could get through the well, I'm sure he could have used Rin to get him through the well by now."

Inuyasha shrugged seemingly at a loss for words.

"Inuyasha, you really did something nice for him, I promise I wont hate you if you tell him how to get through the well."

Inuyasha moved to leave and was stopped only when he felt a small hand upon his leg. Shippo stood there looking rather human a sad smile on his face.

"tell Rin I miss her."


	16. Invisable

**AN- I cant believe how easily this story is just flowing right out of my brain, im really happy about all of it. now im really sorry if sesshomaru is sorta ooc in the next few chapters, but hes just realized that hes in love and he is trying to find the woman he loves... so forgive the guy alright?**

**the song is "invisable" by clay aiken.**

* * *

When Inuyasha showed up at the western castle, Sesshomaru was ready to tear his throat out, but when Inuyasha told him how to travel to the future so he could have a chance to get his Miko back he could have kissed the Hanyou.

It took all of three minuets to gather Rin from the gardens where she was planting flowers and begin racing towards the bone eaters well.

It didn't take long to get to the well, and with one movement he jumped over the edge landing on the bottom.

Nothing happened.

"Sesshomaru-Sama? Why isn't the magic well working?"

"I'm sorry Rin; I was told you could make the well work."

Rin struggled out of his grasp, taking his much larger hand into hers a smile on her face before she closed her eyes and reached out to touch the walls of the well. She whispered silently as she traced an invisible pattern into the walls.

"I'm coming for you mama, and you too Shippo."

Within seconds there was a faint glow and then they felt like they were falling, it seemed to go on forever, the twisting and turning all while seeming to fall to their deaths.

Soon cool dirt was under their feet, the smells were different thought and Sesshomaru could only hope that it worked.

"Rin!!!"

Sesshomaru smirked as he lifted the small girl and jumped out of the well just as Shippo threw open the doors, he smiled as the children embraced, clinging onto each other like their lives depended on it.

Sesshomaru only needed to use his sense of smell to lead the way to where Kagome was.

**Whatcha' doin' tonight**

**I wish I could be a fly on your wall**

**Are you really alone**

**Who's stealin' your dreams**

**Why can't I bring you into my life**

**What would it take to make you see that I'm alive**

Sesshomaru found the Miko, his Miko, sitting on the massive staircase that made up the shrine steps. He smiled as he stood there, waiting for her to turn around and see him there, to see him smiling bright just for her.

"Sesshomaru, I would suggest wiping that stupid smile off of your face"

Kagome didn't even turn around, her words were so cold, so unfeeling, where had the bright and spirited woman he knew and loved gone?

**If I was invisible**

**Then I could just watch you in your room**

**If I was invincible**

**I'd make you mine tonight**

"Kagome, I came to speak to you, I want to make things right."

A snort was all the answer he received. He wanted nothing more then to take his Miko and press his lips against her soft skin. He wanted to breathe in her scent and promise that nothing would ever come between them.

**If hearts were unbreakable**

**Then I could just tell you where I stand**

**I would be the smartest man**

**If I was invisible(Wait..I already am)**

Kagome just ignored him, her back to him as she stared at the clouds.

"I'm sorry Kagome, I really am I just wished you believed me."

Another snort.

The Yokai wanted to tell her he loved her, wanted to scream out for her, wanted to shake her until she cried, he wanted to make her weep his name, and cry to the kami's, but he was frozen to the spot.

Her oblivious rejection was becoming too hard for the Inu to handle.

"Kagome?"

The Miko just ignored him.

**Saw your face in the crowd**

**I call out your name**

**You don't hear a sound**

When she stood and moved down a few steps, he followed, not wanting there to be more space between them.

"Our children are happy to be reunited."

This time he didn't even get a snort, he just wanted some sort of reaction from her, wanted her to make some kind of move, and most of all he wanted to hear her laugh.

**I keep tracing your steps**

**Each move that you make**

**Wish I could read what goes through your mind**

**Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life**

Sesshomaru heard her inhale like she was going to speak and he nearly shouted when she just let the breath out without saying a single word. Soon enough she found her words.

"Sesshomaru, you should have never let me walk away, even if you didn't lie about being with her, I just wanted you to make me stay, Inuyasha told me the truth, but I just wish you had tried harder to come find me.

**I reach ou**

**tBut you don't even see me**

**Even when I scream out**

"Kagome please let me explain."

Kagome just shook her head before she stood and took a long look at the Yokai lord, then she walked away.

"Kagome!"

The Miko just kept walking, without looking back. Sesshomaru watched as she called for her child and Shippo separated from Rin and followed her into the house.

**Baby, you don't hear me**

**I am nothing without you**

**Just a shadow passing through...**


	17. Dare you to move

Kagome had to give Sesshomaru some credit, he sure was persistent.

The Yokai lord had kept knocking on the door for hours, longer then Kagome thought he would have waited, and she could hear Rin crying at times.

Rin broke her heart, and she really wondered if she could convince Sesshomaru to let the girl stay here with her.

**Welcome to the planet **

**Welcome to existence **

When Kagome's mother got home she let Sesshomaru and Rin into the house, it seemed that her mother recognized the two just from what she and Shippo had told her about the two they had left behind.

It wasn't long before her mother came into her room wondering exactly what was going on.

It was hard to explain, and while she didn't want Sesshomaru to overhear she ended up telling her mother everything.

**Everyone's here**

**Everyone's here**

**Everybody's watching you now**

**Everybody waits for you now**

"Kagome, I think you need to settle this, there is no other way, and you two have to figure something out there are children involved."

Kagome knew that her mother was right, but it didn't mean that she wanted to talk to Sesshomaru, knowing him he would use her weaknesses against her and start smiling at her again.

**What happens next**

**What happens next**

Kagome made her way downstairs and into the dining room where Sesshomaru was sitting sipping on tea that her mother had made for him and Rin.

Seeing Shippo in the hallway, Rin quickly left to spend what she thought might be the last time with him.

"So what do you want from me?"

"Kagome I want you to come home, Rin and I are nothing with out the rest of our family."

**I dare you to move**

**I dare you to move**

**I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor**

Kagome took a deep breath before she spoke, her eyes cold and hard as she tried not to betray any of her emotions.

"I want you to leave, I would like Rin to stay with me here, and I think she will do better here."

"You know if you asked me to pick between Rin and you I would always pick Rin, she is my child, but I will not be forced to live without either of you."

**I dare you to move**

**I dare you to move**

**Like today never happened**

**Today never happened before**

Kagome smiled, it was nice to know that Sesshomaru had his priorities straight when it came to his child at least, and Kagome nodded knowing that she would not be able to convince him to walk away without his little girl.

Golden orbs never left her face; she knew he was searching, searching for any hint into how she was feeling or what she was thinking.

**Welcome to the fallout**

**Welcome to resistance**

**The tension is here**

**Tension is here**

**Between who you are and who you could be**

**Between how it is and how it should be**

"Kagome I want you to be happy, I know that I am selfish, and only think of myself, but I am trying to think of you, if coming home with me made you happy I would be elated, but if staying here is your choice I will not argue, for once Kagome, I want to put your happiness before my own."

Kagome was touched by his words, and by the fact that he had finally given himself totally to her; he had just bared his soul to her. There was only one problem.

Wanting someone to be happy was far from loving them, and all she really wanted was to be in love, she wanted to be loved unconditionally.

**Maybe redemption has stories to tell**

**Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell**

**Where can you run to escape from yourself?**

**Where you gonna go?**

**Where you gonna go?**

**Salvation is here**

"I forgive you Sesshomaru. I realize now that you were right, I'm sorry that I accused you of such horrible things, I was just hurt, I wanted so much more then what I was getting and maybe a part of me wanted to believe it."

Sesshomaru's aura seemed to lighten at Kagome's words, and tentatively reached out to close his hand over Kagome's on the table.

"Come home with me, I will do anything within my power to make you happy, just please give me a chance."

**I dare you to move-**

**I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor-**

**Like today never happened-**

**Today never happened before **

"I'm sorry Sesshomaru there are just some things you will never be able to give me, and sadly those are the most important."


	18. One thing

**AN- I know you all are waiting for a happy ending, but sadly this chapter is not it. so dont worry things will work out in the end, I promise!!**

**the song for this chapter is "one thing" by finger eleven. this is the second time that Ive used a song by finger eleven, I really really like them. and please review, I need to know what everyone is thinking, because I think I could finish this up in about three or four more chapters or go for the longer version which would be about ten more.**

* * *

Sesshomaru sat upon the steps to the shrine that Kagome's family cared for; he simply didn't know what he should do.

He wanted Kagome.

He knew that much knew that his life was never going to be the same without her fiery spirit there to warm his cold demeanor.

He wondered if he really could become something great, sure he had done more then anyone had ever thought he could but it just never seemed enough, but maybe with Kagome at his side he could go on to doing even better things.

His castle hummed with energy when she was there, things always went smoothly, the humans in his lands seemed not to fear him when she was around, and for once the humans and demons seemed to be getting along. The humans didn't even mind having a demon as their leader when they knew that Kagome was on their side making sure that they were being treated fairly.

**Restless tonight**

**Cause I wasted the light**

**Between both these times**

**I drew a really thin line**

He thought about just staying here, leaving everything in his old life behind and just starting a new life here with Kagome.

He smiled thinking about it, he even day dreamed of little Hanyou children with Kagome's dark hair and his amber eyes. He knew that deep down it was just a fantasy. Kagome would never agree to let him into her life.

Five hundred years was beginning to seem much shorter then it really was.

**It's nothing I planned**

**And not that I can**

**But you should be mine**

**Across that line**

Kagome soon found Sesshomaru and sat next to him, her voice soft when she broke the silence.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

Sesshomaru didn't know what a penny was, but he assumed it was something valuable.

"Kagome what year is this?"

Kagome answered and just watched him as he seemed to do the math, she waited with her head tilted waiting for him to explain exactly what he was thinking.

**If I traded it all**

**If I gave it all away for one thing**

**Just for one thing**

"Kagome what if I waited for you? What if I went home and just waited for you, I want you and I would be willing to wait much longer if it meant that I got to keep you."

"You're willing to wait 500 years; willing to come to me in the future?"

**If I sorted it out**

**If I knew all about this one thing**

**Wouldn't that be something**

"I would be willing if that was what it took."

Kagome didn't answer for a long time; Sesshomaru was beginning to get worried and placed his arm around her shoulder waiting for her to find her words.

"I missed you Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru smiled down at the lovely Miko, and for a moment everything seemed perfect.

Too bad the moment ended too soon.

"Don't wait for me Sesshomaru, five hundred years is too long to be alone."

**I promise I might**

**Not walk on by**

**Maybe next time**

**But not this time**

Sesshomaru didn't quite know what to do, his body ached to have her body pressed against his, his mouth almost begged to seek out her skin and his hands itched to roam her curves, but the Yokai lord just sat up straight and removed his arm from around Kagome.

In that moment he realized that Kagome didn't want him after all, and surprisingly enough the thought hurt, he crossed his arms over his chest and looked up at the starts just beginning to peek out after the sunset.

His chest felt tight, like he might be sick, physically sick. If this was what being in love felt like, well he didn't want anything more to do with it. Now he just wanted to go home and go to sleep.

Sesshomaru cursed his inability to show proper human emotions, he would love to just cry right now and see if his tears would affect Kagome the way hers did to him. Sadly the Yokai did not know how to cry, he didn't even know how to look sad in fact.

**Even though I know**

**I don't want to know**

**Yeah I guess I know**

**I just hate how it sounds**

His Miko had just broken his heart, it was a strange feeling, nothing felt physically wrong with him, but his entire body was beginning to ache with a pain he just couldn't seem to get away from.

"Sesshomaru, will you take Shippo with you? He's not happy here, and I really think that he and Rin should stay together, they understand each other and it's hard to find that in the world. I don't want to keep them separated."

**If I traded it all**

**If I gave it all away for one thing**

**Just for one thing**

**If I sorted it out**

**If I knew all about this one thing**

**Wouldn't that be something**

Sesshomaru suddenly understood what Kagome wanted, she wanted love. Kagome wanted the one thing that Inuyasha never gave her, Kagome had wanted a man to give her his heart, to suffer if needed to make her happy, not that she would let anyone suffer for her, but maybe she just wanted a man who was willing to suffer for her.

"Yes I will take Shippo with me, I'm sure he will miss his mother though. I don't want to leave without you Kagome; I want you to return to your proper place as the lady of the west."

"Sesshomaru I told you already I can't."

"I know, it will be alright, knowing you will be happier this way will ease the pain of my suffering, I do not want to live without you but I will do it if I have to."

Sesshomaru didn't even bother to wait for Kagome's reaction before he stood and made his way to the back yard to gather up Shippo and Rin, he didn't turn around when he heard Kagome walk up behind him.

In a few moments Shippo had gathered his things and goodbyes were said, the children made their way to the well house and then Sesshomaru gave into his deeper instincts, turning to face Kagome.

"This Sesshomaru is willing to give you another opportunity to come along, but knows you won't take it."

Kagome just smiled softly.

Sesshomaru couldn't stand it, in a moment he had crossed the space between them and gathered Kagome into his arms hugging her tightly to his chest, taking a long deep breath trying to remember her scent, and burn it into his memory. He brushed her hair from her eyes before he looked into them for what he thought might be the last time. When she tilted her head back to get a better look at him, Sesshomaru took it as an invitation. His mouth descended on hers, softly kissing the corners of her lips until she tilted her head to meet his, then his lips became greedy trying to taste all of her at once, and trying to drink all of her in. finally Sesshomaru decided it was time to stop torturing himself and he pulled away from Kagome, his body already aching from the loss of contact.

He set her on the ground as gently as he could manage and took a last sniff of her hair before he leaned down to whisper into her ear.

Sesshomaru was long gone before what he had said registered in Kagome's brain.

"_I love you my Miko, I will miss you."_


	19. Dig

**AN- I hated having to leave the last chapter the way that I did, but I just thought it felt right... ya know? anyways Ive decided to let this story progress natrually, I've got alot of songs picked out that I want to use, and Ive got the last few chapters picked out but getting there is where ive decided to just go with the flow. also the chapter is sorta weird, but I wanted to tie up some loose ends... also I learned that if your chapter wont hold the centering... just save it again it normally works the second time around.**

**the song for this chapter is "dig" by incubus.**

* * *

Two weeks had passed since Sesshomaru's visit to Kagome's time and in those two weeks Kagome had spent every day telling herself that she didn't hear Sesshomaru's claim of love, that she didn't miss him with every fiber of her being.

She tried telling herself that she was better off without the Yokai lord, and that her life really and truly did have meaning without the two bright faced children she loved so dearly.

Kagome was a poor liar. She was such a bad liar she couldn't even lie to herself.

She wanted to go back, wanted to find a way to weasel her way back into Sesshomaru's heart.

Every night she was having the same dream, dreaming that She and Sesshomaru were to be married but never did make it to the altar because she was too scared to walk down the isle.

"Kagome-Chan I think you should go back, you spend every day staring at the well house, and spend every night hoping he will climb into your bedroom window, you should just forget about what happened and go to him."

Kagome laughed at her mother, how could anything be that simple?

"Then sleep with your window closed and find a boyfriend."

Kagome's heart dropped, how in the world did her mother know? Then again mothers really did know everything, and the way that her mother was moving around her room packing up everything she thought her daughter needed had to mean something.

**We all have a weakness**

**But some of ours are easy to identify.**

Kagome sighed and helped her mother collect her things; maybe she had always known she was going to go back. Kagome had quit her job and gave all of her savings to her mother to help fund the household, she had given away most of her things, and even offered to let her brother take her room.

-----.-----

Life in the feudal era seemed untouched as Kagome found her way out of the well house. She thought she should have been happier about all of this, happy to get back to the life that felt right to her. Somehow it all felt wrong, she felt like she should have been greeted by smiling faces welcoming her back.

"Kagome, I thought you had left for good."

Kikyo's voice seemed almost friendly for once, and for the first time Kagome didn't want to physically harm the other Miko.

"I decided to come back, this is where I belong."

Kikyo's smile eased Kagome's nerves, and the two women even held hands as they walked towards the village.

"Don't worry about a thing; I will have Inuyasha take you to the western castle, that's the fastest way to go."

-----.-----

The gates of the western castle had never seemed so big, so imposing, or so damned scary before.

Every face that greeted Kagome as she made her way into the castle was smiling, everyone genuinely happy to see her, but there was only one thing on her mind, Kagura.

The dungeons seemed even darker then the last time Kagome had found her way down to them.

Kagura sat chained by a single ankle, her once flawless body was now becoming round with child. Kagome felt badly for the child Kagura had created, felt badly that Kagura had been trapped in a dungeon instead of properly taking care of the life growing inside of her womb.

"Kagura, are you alright how are you feeling?"

Kagome reached out to touch the other woman's belly and Kagura flinched trying to move away from the Miko's fingers.

"Don't be afraid I won't hurt you."

As Kagome moved towards the woman once again another woman spoke.

"My Lady, she can't talk, lord Sesshomaru cut out her tongue for lying."

The woman who had spoken was pregnant as well and Kagome almost laughed about the maternity ward of the dungeons.

Kagome reached out and grabbed Kagura's face, healing and re-growing Kagura's tongue in mere moments. Watching patently as Kagura began to move her mouth and get used to the feeling of having a tongue again.

"Now Kagura, answer me, how are you feeling?"

"Please don't kill me; I want my child to live."

Kagome watched the demon for a long time, watching the tears streaming down her face as she begged for the life of her unborn child. The Miko almost felt badly that someone would think she would harm an innocent child.

She explained to Kagura that she wasn't going to kill her or her child, and as Kagura calmed down she used her Miko powers to feel for the child's aura.

She could feel the baby's heartbeat like a little drum, and as she let her powers flow around the room she realized something, she knew who the baby's father was. The baby belonged to a lesser lord of the western lands, a bear Yokai who had always been kind to Kagome when she had dealt with him, she could feel the imprint of his Yokai on this baby.

"Kagura does the baby's father know about all of this?"

Kagura began to cry again, turning her faced away from Kagome in shame.

"He knows, and he forgave me, he wants to raise this child."

Kagome just thought here was the woman who had tried to destroy the love she had for Sesshomaru, a woman who had created a child with a man she didn't love so that she could weasel her way into power. Kagome realized now that Kagura had already been punished enough, Kagura had to deal with the fact that the man she had created this child with loved her enough to forgive her, and maybe Kagura loved him as well.

**Look me in the eye and ask for forgiveness;**

Kagome had walked into the dungeons hoping to make Kagura suffer in all the same ways that she had, but now all she wanted to do was make things right in the world.

"Kagura, I'm going to let you go, all I need is for you to promise me two things."

"Anything Kagome-Sama"

"One, I need you to promise to leave here and go to your child's father, I want you to raise this baby right. Two, I want you to take this other pregnant woman with you and help her out, you might need a good servant to help you care for your child."

-----.-----

Kagome felt a weight lift from her shoulders as she watched the two pregnant women leave the castle, she felt like a new woman now that she had forgiven Kagura.

**We'll make a pact to never speak that word again**

**Yes you are my friend.**

When she turned and headed back into the castle she felt like she was on a mission, all she wanted to do was find the safety of Sesshomaru's arms, she wanted to beg him to forgive her and wanted him to take her back into his life.

Kagome was disappointed to find out that Sesshomaru had taken Rin and Shippo to a fair at a village nearby and wouldn't be back to the castle for a few days.

-----.-----

Kagome had never spent time in the western castle with out Sesshomaru; Jakken had even gone with them. Kagome felt alone as she wandered the empty halls waiting for them to return.

Night after night found Kagome in the gardens watching the moon come out and the stars twinkle into sight. More often then not she found herself thinking of the time that Sesshomaru had taken her out at night and stayed with her all night so they could watch the sunrise.

Kagome wondered if Sesshomaru would ever forgive her, wondered if she even deserved to be forgiven. Sesshomaru had finally shown his true feelings, and what did she do? She ignored his silent pleas. Many nights Kagome just simply hoped that she could turn back the time and fix everything that had gone wrong.

Somewhere along the line she had fallen hopelessly in love with Sesshomaru, and never took the time to realize that maybe he loved her too.

**We all have something that digs at us,**

**At least we dig each other**

-----.-----

The voice of the stoic lord had never sounded as wonderful as it did the night of the new moon.

"I see you have decided to return."

Kagome turned to face him and was surprised to see that his face was a cold unreadable mask. Somehow she had deluded herself into thinking that he might have been happy to see her.

"I had to come back, I missed you."

**So when weakness turns my ego up**

**I know you'll count on the me from yesterday**

Sesshomaru didn't even bother to make a single sound as he waited for Kagome to say something.

"Sesshomaru, I'm sorry, I never should have left, and I should have believed you. Please I'm begging you to forgive me."

Kagome swore that her heart was breaking as Sesshomaru slowly turned his back to her and began to walk away.

**If I turn into another**

**Dig me up from under what is covering**

**The better part of me**

Kagome couldn't help it as she began to cry, she couldn't even hold herself up anymore as her knees gave out and she crumpled to the ground.

Sesshomaru paused when he heard Kagome's soft crying turn into heart retching sobs. He wanted to hold her so badly, wanted to console her and wipe away every one of her tears, but she had left him, walked out on him. There was no way that the great Sesshomaru was going to let himself be hurt again.

Sesshomaru stayed stuck to the spot as he listened to Kagome's frantic sobbing, he was still there as Kagome's sobs got softer and she finally stopped crying, her sniffling the only sound in the other wise quiet garden.

**Sing this song**

**Remind me that we'll always have each other**

**When everything else is gone.**

"If you don't want me here Sesshomaru, just tell me and I will leave, you won't ever have to see me again."

The pain coating every word that fell from the Miko's lips felt like it was going to rip Sesshomaru apart; he didn't know what to do. The great western lord was simply lost, he had no idea what to say to make Kagome happy, no idea what would make her stay.

**We all have a sicknes****s**

**That cleverly attaches and multiplies**

**No matter how we try.**

"Don't leave"

Kagome didn't know when two simple words had ever meant so much to her, they meant more then love poems and long billowing speeches about love and desire. Two little words had just turned the Mikos life completely around.

"I won't leave ever again I promise."

**We all have someone that digs at us,**

**At least we dig each other**

**So when sickness turns my ego up**

**I know you'll act as a clever medicine.**

Kagome soon found herself in the warm arms of the Yokai she loved. In that moment nothing in the world mattered, the earth could have crumbled and she wouldn't have even batted an eyelash.

**If I turn into another**

**Dig me up from under what is covering**

**The better part of me**

**sing this song!**

**Remind me that we'll always have each other**

**When everything else is gone.**

Sesshomaru's soft voice broke the silence after many tranquil moments.

"Kagome I don't know if life will ever be able to go back to what it was, everyone in the castle was heartbroken when we lost you."

Kagome took a deep breath, forcing all of her deeper fears far away and into the back of her mind.

"I will do whatever it takes, and will give it all the time it needs, I'm where I belong and that's all that matters."

**Oh each other....**

**When everything else is gone.**


End file.
